


The Girl With the Yellow Ribbon - Attack on Titan

by emmyK_2003



Category: Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, OC Side Characters, aot but petra lives, established relationship levi/petra, i might rate this mature just in case, i tried to stay as close to canon as i could then gave up, petra deserved better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:55:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 21,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25983199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmyK_2003/pseuds/emmyK_2003
Summary: Captain Levi Ackerman isn't a man made for love stories, but Petra Ral was determined to change that--and she did.---Petra Ral, a scout hand-picked by Captain Levi Ackerman himself, clung to a spider's thread of life.Her comrades died beside her, each of their bodies mangled in unholy ways, and she laid motionless at the base of the tree.Why am I not dead? Petra thought. A horrifying thought crossed her mind. What if I already am?---Captain Levi Ackerman was a man who nobody wanted to cross, and he was feared by nearly everybody--everybody except Petra Ral.Petra Ral, a young woman with a radiant smile and ivory skin, was unlike others in the best ways possible--most notably her close bond with Captain Levi Ackerman, a bond going farther than that of a mere captain and his subordinate.They had a story-book romance desired by everyone, but nobody dared say that not every story has a happy ending.
Relationships: Levi/Petra Ral, Rivetra - Relationship
Comments: 8
Kudos: 89





	1. Chapter 1

Petra Ral, a scout hand-picked by Captain Levi Ackerman himself, clung to a spider's thread of life. 

Her comrades died beside her, each of their bodies mangled in unholy ways, and she laid motionless at the base of the tree. 

There was crimson splatter along the bark, and bile rose in her throat as she realized it was _her_ blood that painted the tree. 

She couldn’t move and every breath sent shooting pains through her chest; with every breath, she feared it would be her last. 

Her vision was blurred with blood and tears, and black splotches grew with every passing second. She could count the seconds as her pulse throbbed in her fingertips.

_Why am I not dead?_ Petra thought. A horrifying thought crossed her mind. _W_ _hat if I already am?_

The only sound over the buzzing in her ears is the whiz of an unknown soldier’s ODM gear. _Maybe someone survived, and maybe they’ll help me… maybe I’ll survive_. 

Petra gathered what little strength she had left and cried out to them--she spoke no coherent words, just a frail, guttural cry. 

Footsteps crunched over bloodstained grass, and Petra strained herself to keep her eyes open, no matter how great the black splotches grow and sleep is calling. 

_“Never close your eyes,” Erwin said proudly as he stood before the Scouting Regiment, preparing them for a mission where they will leave and most will not come back home._

_We sat atop our horses, ODM gear secured tightly with multiple straps, and held a firm salute._

_No matter how terrified all of us were, we refused to show it. We hid behind a facade of bravery and prayed we’d live another day._

_Beside me, Captain Levi was mounted on his black mare. His stoic expression was unfaltering, but the way his knuckles had drained of all colour as he clenched his fist in a salute showed how scared he really was._

_He was always cold and uncaring, but a select few people have seen who he truly is--a man who cares deeply for those he loves, and would lay down his own life if it meant his friends got to live until tomorrow._

_Erwin continues his speech, saying: “Never close your eyes. If you are laying on the battlefield and you can see the world around you, don’t close your eyes--if you close your eyes, you may never see that world again. You are soldiers, all of you, so you will die like soldiers, and soldiers die with their eyes open.”_

Her eyes began to droop, and a flash of emerald green sends a wave of comfort through her. 

“Petra,” Captain Levi knelt beside her. “What… hey, keep your eyes open. Are you okay? Can you move?” 

“No.” As he speaks, the realization of Petra’s position finally hits: her chest is arched against the base of the tree, and her legs sprawl behind; the bark digs into her chin. 

“Okay,” He mutters, scanning her condition up and down. He gnaws his lip in thought before shaking his head and saying, “I need to check if your back is broken… that means I have to touch you, and it will probably hurt.” 

“Well, just do it and get it over with.” She sighs heavily and prepares for the worst. “Please.” 

The Captain takes a deep breath, and gently lifts her cape, exposing her tattered uniform--it’s torn and bloody, and had this been any other situation, she was sure he’d lecture her for her uncleanliness. 

Through blurred vision, Petra sees the Captain move and braces herself for his touch. 

The Captain’s face falls slack as he pulls his hand away. She was too weak to give him a confused look. 

“It’s… it’s pretty bad. I can feel your ribs, and they’re broken. You probably have a spinal injury…. I’m sorry, Petra.” He whispers, and finally she musters the strength to show her confusion. 

“What do you mean?” She whispers. 

“I mean you’re hurt real bad, and we gotta get you out of here _now_.” Levi says, scanning Petra’s state and realizing the only way that they’d both get out of here alive is a miracle. 

“But you didn’t check yet?” Petra strains herself to turn and look at the Captain, but all she manages to see is his stoic expression drain of colour. 

“Yes, I did.” He says. “I pressed on your back and spine, surely you felt it?” 

“No, you didn’t.” Tears prickle in the corners of her eyes, the façade of a brave soldier dropping and her true insides show; a young woman with a big heart who is terrified of death--someone who is too young, too good to die. 

_But good people die everyday._

“Do it again.” Her breathing becomes frantic, and tears still well in her eyes. “Push on my back again. I’m sure I’ll feel it--please, Captain, do it again.” 

“No.” He says firmly, but his eyes soften when he sees how afraid Petra really is. “Look, I’m gonna get you out of here. You aren’t gonna die, not on my watch. I won’t let you. Okay?” 

Petra manages only a small hum in response as a pain in her chest rises--a pain that wasn’t there before. 

“Just… do whatever you need. I trust you.” She sniffles, but a sense of calm fills her when Levi strokes her cheek and tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. 

_He always said my hair was beautiful. He said in some lights it was blonde, and in some lights it was red--but in the perfect light, it was a wonderful combination of strawberry blonde._

_When they were alone, Levi loved to fiddle with the ends; he would twirl it around his index finger and watch it unravel, and do it over and over again._

_The members of the Levi Squad were the most elite soldiers of the Scout Regiment. They were skilled in battle and strategy, but that wasn’t what kept them alive. It was their trust in each other, and that is what kept them around until tomorrow._

_Petra had admired Levi from afar for years. He was nearly ten years her senior--no matter how hard he tries to keep it under wraps--but she’d always felt he was different. What it was, she didn’t know, but as she watched the Captain, mounted upon his dark mare, through rose coloured glasses, she felt a way she didn’t understand._

_But as time went on, and Petra moved up in the ranks of the Scout Regiment, her dream of riding her horse alongside Humanity’s Strongest finally happened._

_Over the course of time, they grew closer--closer than a Captain and subordinate should. But it didn’t matter._

_“Nothing matters when you’re a Scout,” Levi told Petra one night as they sat beside a river under a moonless sky. “When you do the shit that we do, you best live your life to the most, ‘cause people like us don’t last long. That’s just the way it is.”_

Levi began murmuring to himself, but Petra was too weak to even question him. She just prayed that he knew what to do. 

“Okay, here’s what I’m going to do,” Levi said, sighing heavily. Once again he reached toward her and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear gently. _Were his touches meant to be a comfort to Petra, or himself?_ “Your ODM gear is badly damaged and unusable, but even if it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be able to use it. I can’t carry you because you can’t move too much, but I have an idea. All you gotta do is stay still and let me do it.” 

Petra managed only a small whimper in response. 

Levi reached down and fiddled with her harnesses, unlatching the straps and pulling them off gently. He pulled the tanks from her belt, and laid them flat on top of each other.

Petra dreaded the thought of moving, but she knew it was the only way either of them would make it out alive. 

“It’s time for me to move you, okay?” Levi says, his voice holding a softness Petra hadn’t ever heard. “I’ll be as gentle as I can, but you gotta stay still--one wrong move and this situation could be considerably worse. Do you understand?”

Petra didn’t bother wasting what little energy she had left on a simple response; the way she bit her lip, clenched her fists, and braced herself was response enough. 

His touch was gentle--even with an engraved frown and calloused hands, he was gentle. 

Levi knelt beside her and slipped his forearm in the gap between the tree base and top of her bust. One hand presses squarely between her shoulder blades, the other grips her shoulder, and he lifts her with all her weight supported only by Levi’s forearm. 

Petra bites back a cry as Levi moves her onto the damaged gear. A striking pain shoots through her chest, but not from the spinal wound. Everything from her hips down was numb, but everything above was on fire. 

Once Petra is flat on the make-shift backboard, Levi mumbles a string of curses under his breath. 

“What?” Petra manages to say, though it was more breathing than vocalized words. 

“Shit, Petra, did you fall on your blade or something?” He asks. Petra tried to sit up in shock, but Levi’s hand kept her down. “Don’t move. We need to get out of here, but you’re bleeding bad and I need to stop it.” 

Levi reached down and unlatched the strap that crossed the swell of her breasts, and he undid her buttons with haste. 

He grabbed the hem of Petra’s thin undershirt and rolled it up to the bottom of her ribcage--despite her strength and skills as a soldier, she was thin, so thin to the point her ribs stuck out when she laid flat and the outline of her bones showed through her skin. 

_Petra hated it. Some women praised her petite figure, but others mocked and said no man would ever be attracted to a woman who looked like her. They said she looked sick, not beautiful._

Levi examined her wounds, and did something Petra didn’t expect--he reached to his neck and undid his trademark cravat. He took the white cotton fabric and folded it into a square. 

“If checking your back didn’t hurt,” Levi mumbled. “This sure as hell will.” 

Giving Petra little time to prepare herself, Levi pressed the folded cravat to her belly and she let out a blood curdling scream. 

The touches that once were gentle and craved now felt like a white-hot branding iron on ivory skin. 

Though it pained him greatly, Levi ignored her wails and continued treating her wound. 

_Had this been another situation, one where Petra’s life didn’t dangle by a spider’s thread, Levi would’ve been thrilled to be in such an intimate position--maybe one with hesitant touches, shy smiles, and a love story known only to them._

_But this isn’t a situation with hesitant touches, shy smiles, and a forbidden love--no, this was a situation made of bloody touches, cries of pain, and a story that may never be told._

The adrenaline that had been budding inside Petra was finally drained, and the sudden rush of pain was almost more than she could bear. 

The black splotches grew across her vision and she struggled to keep her eyes open. _Erwin would be ashamed of me; a soldier should die with their eyes open, not like this._

By now, Petra couldn’t focus on anything. She barely noticed when Levi lifted her off the ground, supporting only the damaged gear in which she laid upon--she didn’t notice when he tied her cape around both her and the tank to keep her secure. 

He began to run, but by now Petra had fallen numb. There was no pain, she felt nothing but the steady thumping of Levi running through the forest. 

Petra struggled to keep her eyes open, and soon all she could see was a blurred image of the sky and tree line. Tears streamed down her face, but still she felt nothing but a steady _thump, thump, thump._

“You’re going to be okay,” Levi said as he ran faster and faster--faster than he’d ever run before. “I swear it, you’re going to be okay. But you gotta stay awake--please, darling. You gotta stay awake, please stay awake.” 

_Darling._ That was the last word she heard before the sky and trees faded into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm Emily, the author of this fic, but y'all can call me M. This is one of the longest chapters I've ever written, and the longest in this story, I believe. Most chapters are about half this length, but I had to get all this out in one go. It just felt right that way, idk why. Splitting it up would've interupted the flow or whatever. Anyway, I have about 8 chapters written and am working on getting them transfered over here and on fanfiction.net (they're already up on wattpad). I wasn't originally gonna post this here, but after talking to @SoronRocket, I figured why not? Anways, back on the story: this is an established relationship story with Levi and Petra. I also am trying to stay as close to canon as I can, but with this and how I have the plot planned out, I'm not sure how long that will last. Also, because we didn't get a lot of content with Petra I had to improvise, so most of her family life and backstory will be based on my personal experiences with a twist (mostly family life). There will also be a few OC's entered to keep the flow (like Marie, who is Petra's younger sister). Anyways, I hope y'all liked the chapter and will stick around to see what will happen next! Love y'all!  
> ~ M


	2. Chapter 2

“It’s by the grace of God that she’s alive right now,” Commander Erwin says, crossing his arms and giving a sideways glance to Captain Levi, who stood to his right with a scowl. “The doctor said that if she’d been angled any different or her blade dug any deeper, she would’ve died on impact.” 

“I know,” Levi mutters. “I was there when he said it, and I was the one who brought her here.” 

Commander Erwin laughs half-heartedly and claps Levi’s shoulder, smiling. 

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on between you and Petra, but I know it’s something--something more than a mere connection between a Captain and his subordinate.” Commander Erwin begins, and waves his hand in dismissal when Levi jumps to his defense. “Whatever it may be, just be careful. You and I both know that we’ve all been through shit that messes with our heads, and there are two outcomes when people like us get close: a bond stronger than anything, or a match made in hell.” 

Levi didn’t bother arguing with the Commander because he knew that he was right; a relationship between Petra and himself was something that only happened in story books, and if by some chance it did happen, it wouldn’t last long. 

_ Levi refused to let himself fall in love again. Love isn’t for everyone, and it certainly isn’t for a man like Captain Levi Ackerman.  _

“I know what you’re thinking,” Commander Erwin says, and receives only an arched brow in response. “About Petra. Knowing you, you’re probably thinking a woman like her could never love a man like you.” 

“And what about it?” Levi grumbles. He hated the way the Commander could read him. They had known each other for so long, they were practically brothers and the Commander knew Levi inside and out, but has been sworn to secrecy whenever questioned about the expressionless Captain’s tragic backstory. 

“What I’m saying is that you’re right,” The Commander’s words shocked Levi enough to elicit a full response of confusion. Commander Erwin smiles before adding, “Or you’re wrong. You’ll never know if you don’t try.” 

“Now isn’t the time for romance,” Levi says. “All Petra needs to worry about is getting better, that’s it.” 

“Yes, I suppose you’re right.” Commander Erwin gestures to Levi’s leg. “And so do you.” 

Levi rolls his eyes and says, “I am perfectly fine.” 

“You are not fine and I know it,” The Commander narrows his eyes and stares intently at Levi. _ Maybe if he stares long enough, Levi will understand. _ “You took a hard hit when you were fighting the Female Titan, and Mikasa is a witness--” 

“Mikasa didn’t witness shit.” Levi snaps. 

“She said that when you were on solid ground again, you had a limp because you fell onto an area of hardened titan skin.” Commander Erwin sighs heavily. “Just because everyone else thinks you’re indestructible doesn’t mean you actually are, and one day that will catch up to you. You need to take it easy before something worse happens.” 

“I will be fine, Erwin. I didn’t get the rank I have out of sheer luck, it’s because I’m damn good at what I do.” Levi turns from the desk and shoulders his jacket. “I’m going to see Petra and see if her condition has improved. We’ll continue this discussion later,” 

Levi starts for the door, but Commander Erwin grabs his arm. 

“No, Levi. You will listen to me and we’ll settle this now,” Commander Erwin releases Levi’s arm. “You are injured, and you need medical treatment. Who knows, you could have a fracture and you may never walk the same.” 

“That doesn’t matter, I’ll be fine.” Levi turns again, but a striking pain through his lower leg stops him in his tracks. 

“See? You can’t even turn without pain. You need medical treatment, Levi.” He says but Levi doesn’t respond. “How will you be a captain when you can barely walk?” 

Something inside Levi finally broke. 

“How can I be a captain when my entire squad is dead?” Levi shouts, all the pent up emotions spilling into his words. “How can I be a captain when I have no one to command? The only surviving member might not make it through the night, and I’ll be damned if I’m stopped by a fractured ankle. They died and I didn’t, so I have no place to complain about pain.”

“Levi--” 

“No.” Despite how hard he tries, Levi’s voice still trembles as he speaks. “If I’m still breathing, then I’m fine. I don’t need coddling, what I need is to get a plan so I can say for certain that my men didn’t die for nothing. I  _ refuse  _ to let them die in vain.” 

“I understand what you’re saying, Levi,” Commander Erwin’s words are soft and slow, a stark contradiction to his towering appearance. “But you can’t do that if you can barely walk.” 

“I’ll be fine.” Levi turns toward the door again, and again Commander Erwin stops him. 

“You’re strong, I know that. You weren’t given the title _ Humanity’s Strongest _ for nothing.” He shakes his head and sighs. “But not when you get like this.” 

“Like what?” Levi scowls. 

“Like _ this. _ ” Commander Erwin gestures broadly at Levi. “You can’t honour their memory if you’re dead yourself.” 

Before Levi can compose an argument, Commander Erwin continues. 

“You will sit out all the missions until you’re completely healed, even if I have to tie you to a chair.” Levi begins another attempt to counter, but Commander Erwin ignores him. “That is an order, Levi.” 

“Erwin, you don’t understand--” Levi starts, but Commander Erwin cuts him off. 

“What I understand, Levi, is that you and Petra are the only surviving members of your squad, and even that isn’t a guarantee.” Sitting in his desk chair, Commander Erwin massages his temples. He drops his hands and stares intently at Levi. “What you need to do is heal yourself, and be with Petra. Make sure her family knows, but don’t leave her side.” He pauses before adding, “She needs someone who won’t leave her.” 

“I wasn’t planning on leaving her…” Levi murmurs, the anger building inside him suddenly halted by the thought of Petra. 

“Good. My orders still stand, but we’ll discuss the details later. Now, you need to go see Petra. She needs you now more than ever.” Commander Erwin smiles softly before standing and giving Levi a firm salute, who responds likewise. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! Me again. I'm going to upload all the chapters I have in one setting because Why Not? But once I get those up, it might be like one a week? But I'm gonna be starting school soon (yeah school during a pandemic is a great idea and not putting students life at risk but go off I guess), so when that happens my updates will probably be a lot slower (or not depending on if I used my writing as a coping mechanism because I go to a mediocre school in the middle of a cornfield and it's utter chaos, so it might be even more chapters but probably not) Anyways, this chapter did not go as I'd intended at all. The conversation between Levi and Erwin was supposed to be like 2 paragraphs tops and then Erwin would leave, but I somehow started writing a whole scene and suddenly they were in Erwin's office when they were supposed to be in Petra's hospital room and I have no idea how they got there. I never understood author's saying their characters refuse to cooperate with them until I wrote this story, but honestly I can't be too mad at how this chapter came out. Anyway, hope y'all liked it! Love y'all! 
> 
> ~ M


	3. Chapter 3

It was strange to see the ever-energetic Petra Ral in a state of such calmness. 

Her normally rosey cheeks lost their complexion, her ivory skin drained of colour. _ She looked more like a china doll than a soldier.  _

Captain Levi, who sat at her bedside, yearned for nothing more than to reach out and touch her strawberry blonde hair, and maybe twirl it around his fingers and watch it unravel. 

There was a strange thrill they both got from whatever relationship they had, the kind of thrill derived from adrenaline and stolen kisses. 

_ “Hush, they’re going to hear us!” Petra whispered through gasps.  _

_ At this, Levi grinned. He grabbed Petra’s hand and pulled her down an empty corridor, away from Oluo and Gunther’s approaching conversations.  _

_ “Where are we going?” Petra asked, throwing a fearful glance over her shoulder. With thrill, there came a certain fear--and both Petra and Levi knew this fear well.  _

_ “Don’t ask questions, just keep up.” Levi responded.  _

_ They ran down the empty corridor, the only lights coming from the torches lining the walls.  _

_ They ran through the shadows as they had many nights before--they were soldiers, yes, but they were also human, and humans all harboured the same burning desire for adventure and romance.  _

_ When they neared the end of the hall, Petra wondered what it had all been for, but Levi stopped running and nudged her into a small corner at the very end of the hall.  _

_ Petra had never been to this part of the castle before, but every late-night rendezvous they had lead her to areas she’d never seen before--and tonight was no exception.  _

_ Unbeknownst to the other Scouts, there was a little nook at the end of a long hall; no one knew of it because no one bothered to come this way.  _

_ Levi, however, was prone to wonder late at night whenever he couldn’t sleep--for a man like Levi Ackerman, that was just about every night. And his wonderings lead him to this corner.  _

_ From the end of the hall, no one could see this corner, and if someone stood at the right angle, they too would go unseen.  _

_ A perfect spot for hidden lovers.  _

_ It was quaint, barely enough space for two grown adults to stand shoulder to shoulder--luckily for them, both Levi and Petra were very little, and they fit perfectly.  _

_ “See, didn’t I tell you I knew where I was going?” Levi said, reaching up and fiddling with the ends of Petra’s strawberry blonde hair--oh, how he loved her strawberry blonde hair.  _

_ “No, you didn’t.” Petra said, smiling. “You told me not to ask questions and to keep up. Hardly the same thing.”  _

_ “Eh, what difference does it make? We’re here now.” Levi said with a shrug. Petra laughed and laid her head on his shoulder, curling into his warmth as her cheek brushed against his jawline.  _

_ She hummed to herself contently, soothed by the little tugs at her hair.  _

_ Petra always dreamed of something like this--a story book romance, two lovers running through an old castle, and pretending that the world doesn’t exist. And for a moment, it doesn’t.  _

_ Levi never imagined himself in such a situation--growing up in the Underground in a brothel, the thought of a forbidden romance or a scenario where a woman as beautiful as Petra clung to him in the shadows was laughable.  _

_ The whole scene was overly cliché in the best ways possible.  _

_ Captain Levi Ackerman isn’t a man made for love stories, but Petra Ral was determined to change that--and she did. _

“Levi?” Petra’s voice was soft and hoarse, and it almost startled Levi. He’d been lost deep in thought, and hadn’t noticed Petra wake up. 

“Hey,” Levi murmured, leaning his forearms on the recovery bed.  _ His voice was soft, softer than he’d intended.  _ “How are you feeling?” 

“Could be better,” Petra grimaced. “How’s everyone else? Did we take down the Female Titan?” 

Levi’s breath hitched.  _ She didn’t know… would Levi have to tell her that they were the last surviving members of the original Levi Squad?  _

“Levi?” Petra whispered, reaching across the bedsheets to grasp his calloused hands. “Levi, what happened?” 

For the first time since they’d returned home, tears prickled in Levi’s eyes as he remembered his fallen comrades. 

_ Oluo, Gunther, Eld…  _

“They’re gone,” Levi wheezed. “All of them… they’re all gone.” 

“Gone?” A weight was dropped into Petra’s belly as she struggled to grasp the gravity of Levi’s words. 

“Dead.” His words were short, and angry. _ The anger is the only way Levi is able to mask the pain, and it is the only way he is able to push away the tears.  _ “All of them. They’re dead.” 

“No, you’re mistaken.” With her free hand, Petra begins to fiddle with the edge of the blanket. The other clutched Levi’s hand so tightly that the colour drained from her knuckles. “Surely you’re mistaken.” 

“I’m not, I promise.” He runs his thumb along her palm absentmindedly, something simple and stupid to soothe the ache in his chest. “I… I saw them before I saw you, and they were already dead. I thought you were dead too…” 

“You knew?” Petra whimpered. Tears drip down her face but she didn’t bother to wipe them away. “You knew when you found me and you didn’t tell me? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to put you under more stress than you already were,” Levi mutters, still clutching Petra’s hand. “At that moment, all you needed to focus on was staying alive.” 

“You should have told me.” Petra says. She tries to stay strong, to keep the façade of bravery up, but the mask is slipping and Petra doesn’t know how long it will be before she breaks down. 

“No,” Levi shifts so both hands clutch Petra’s hand. “I shouldn’t have told you at that moment. You were almost dead yourself, and the added stress from finding that out may have been too much. I wasn’t going to take that risk and lose you too… I can’t lose you too.” 

Petra bites her lip as tears still stream down her face, and she clutches Levi’s hand as if it were her grasp on life.  _ She can’t let go.  _

Somehow, she manages to pull one hand away, and reaches up to cup Levi’s face--she feels the stubble from this morning’s shave, the little hairs along his nape, and the stringy locks that always fall over his eyes. 

She also feels the tears sticking to his cheeks, both fresh and dried. _ He bottles everything inside, but one day that bottle will have to spill over. Does he even know how to cry?  _

Though the movements pain Petra greatly, she clutches at Levi with whatever strength she has left. 

Her bottom lip begins to quiver as she whispers, “I… I can’t lose you either.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all got some fluff then I hit y'all with angst. hope you liked this chapter! Love y'all! 
> 
> ~ M


	4. Chapter 4

That night, Petra fell into a darkness she’d never known. 

Levi had stayed by her side for hours, but unlike every other time they were together, neither could manage a genuine smile nor was there any laughter--what was there to laugh about? 

When they bid farewell, Petra fought the urge to cry. _What if when he walked out the door, he wouldn’t walk in again? What if he died too, and she would be alone?_

The rational side of her knew this was foolish, but another wanted desperately to cry out and be held and for him to never leave her side. 

But no matter what Petra thought or how much she fought with herself internally, she still laid in the darkness and wept. 

_* * * *_

“How are you feeling?” Levi asks, pulling a stool beside Petra’s bed. 

“About as well as you’d expect, considering everything that’s happened.” Petra grumbled, shifting slightly only to having a shooting pain strike through her chest. 

Levi hums in response, dipping his finger into a bowl on the bedside table. A folded rag and hair brush sit beside it.

Petra was unsure of how many days had passed since they fought the Female Titan, but she knew that it had been a while since she was last able to bathe properly--she wasn't able to do much of _anything_ properly as of late. 

"I'm going to put this towel under your head, is that okay?" Levi asks, holding an unfolded towel in his hands. Petra nodded, still somewhat unsure of what he was aiming for. 

Levi does everything he said he would swiftly and without haste, but every movement brought a new pain, but by now Petra has learned to bite her tongue when something hurts-- _I am a soldier, and soldiers show no pain nor mercy._

Her eyes droop from a sudden exhaustion--she has been more tired than she ever has been before, but Levi said not to worry because it was probably due to the painkillers. 

The room falls silent for a moment, but she is startled when a warm rag touches her head. 

Levi leans on the bedside, and gently dabs the rag along her forehead. It was soothing, in a strange way. 

"What are you doing?" Petra murmurs. 

"Washing your hair," Levi replies simply. "You're still bedridden and haven't been able to bathe, so I figured I'd help--unless you want me to stop?" 

"No, no… keep going. It feels nice." Petra says, smiling to herself. 

Levi works silently, and only the occasional sigh is uttered. 

He parted her hair into sections and ran the rag over them individually with warm water--with no soap, Levi knew it wouldn't do much, but it would do something, and most of it wasn't to wash Petra's hair, it was to comfort her. 

Levi worked with nimble fingers, taking the locks of hair that had once been voluminous and lush, but now fell limp and thin. _Maybe the water will bring some of the life back, and maybe Petra would look like herself again._

“Here, let me see your hand.” Levi mumbles, holding his palm open. Petra slowly places her hand in his, not out of nervousness but an ache that coursed through every nerve and every cell in her body. 

Levi took her frail hand in his and began to run the rag across her skin. 

Petra wore a thin nightdress that did not belong to her, with short sleeves that only barely came over her shoulders--Levi used that, and brought the rag all the way up to her shoulders. 

He stood, and moved over to sit beside Petra’s legs, and leaned across to do the same to her other arm. 

Once he had finished, he went to move again but, despite the ache, Petra grabbed onto Levi’s upper leg and whispered, “You can stay there on the bed, if you’d like.” 

Levi smiles faintly before muttering a soft _okay_ , and folding the rag again and laying it back beside the bowl. 

“Thank you… for that.” Petra murmured, her hand still resting on his upper leg. 

“You don’t need to thank me.” Levi responded. 

“Yes, I do.” Petra twirled her thumb in circular motions, smiling. “You’re helping me, and you don’t have to help me, so I will thank you every chance I get.” She pauses, and grins again. “So, thank you.”

Levi chuckles softly, placing his hand on top of Petra’s. He glances at their overlapped hands before muttering, “I do it because I don’t want you to be in pain, and even if it’s something as simple as helping you wash your hair, then I will. You’ve already been through hell, and I don’t want you to go through more with this recovery.” 

Petra just stared blankly, unsure of what to say--what _could_ she say? 

She had a sudden idea, and didn’t think it through before attempting to act. 

She gripped Levi’s leg in a vain attempt to pull herself upwards, and strained herself to sit up--but before she could even get to her elbows, Levi pushed her back down onto the bed. She frowned. 

“You can’t get up right now, Petra, you’re still hurt--you have a spinal injury, remember?” Levi shakes his head when he sees Petra’s frown grow. “Oi, quit pouting. What did you want so badly that you needed to get up in your condition?” 

“Well, I _wanted_ to sit upright with you and hug, but I guess I can’t do that now.” Another thought flashes through her head. “But you could do something.” 

“What could I do?” Levi asks. 

“Instead of me coming to you, you could come to me.” She says, and smiles shyly again. “Please?” 

Levi rolls his eyes but smiles nonetheless, and begins to lean beside her. He rests his forehead on Petra’s shoulder. 

“Closer.” Petra says. 

“Okay, _fine._ ” Levi whispers, dragging his head along her shoulder with his nose dancing along her collarbone. 

He moves closer, their faces barely touching as his skin grazes hers. 

Finally, after a painstakingly long tease, Levi presses his lips against Petra’s with a gentleness known only to Petra. 

For a moment, they’re back in that little nook in the Scout Headquarters, smiling and laughing in the orange glow of the torches. 

They’re alone, and happy--they cling to one another in the shadows and darkness. 

They allow themselves a moment of bliss before they come back to the living hell they call reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah this chapter is purely fluff, kinda an "i'm sorry for all the angst I've put you through the last three chapters." there's also something intimate in bathing or washing someone's hair, especially if they can't. it's something simple and stupid and i am a sucker for it (also using soap/deodorant to remember someone when they're gone because it smells like them?? like if there's a scene with that i will literally start to cry) anyways, i hope y'all liked it! Love y'all! 
> 
> ~ M


	5. Chapter 5

“Petra, there’s a surprise for you.” Levi said, his back pressed to the door with one foot propped against the frame. 

“Oh?” Petra smiled. “What is it?” 

“It isn’t a _what_ , it’s a _who_.” Levi slipped his hand behind his back and gently touched the doorknob. He grinned slightly before whispering over his shoulder, “Okay, you can come in now--but be quiet, she still isn’t feeling a hundred percent.” 

Levi nudged the door open, his smile returning to his usual stoic stare, and a small head poked it’s way into the room. 

She was young, maybe twelve years old, with bright red hair and freckles splattered like paint across her cheeks. 

“Petra!” The girl cried, pushing her way past Levi and rushed to Petra’s bedside. “Are you okay? The captain told me you were hurt real bad, is that true? Are you hurt?” 

“Yeah, baby, I’m hurt.” Petra murmured, stroking the girl’s vibrant red hair with a comforting touch. “But I’m okay right now, you’re here and the captain’s here and that’s enough to make anyone feel better.” 

“You promise you’re feeling okay?” She whispered shyly. 

“I promise I’m feeling okay.” Petra replied. The girl smiled broadly before throwing herself across Petra in a hug. Petra groaned, but still smiled. 

Levi bit his tongue, attempting to restrain himself from speaking out against the girl sprawled on the bed who he did not know well--he could see Petra was in pain, but she still smiled and embraced the young girl. 

_A bond between sisters is a bond that can never be broken, no matter how hot the fire or how sharp the blade._

“How’s mama been? And daddy?” Petra asks, stroking the girl’s hair again out of instinct. “Are they both okay?” 

“Yeah, they are.” She pauses. “Well, mama’s sick again but she’ll be okay, she always is. And daddy’s at work in the shop.” 

“That’s good to hear,” Petra says. “And what’ve you been doing?” 

“Nothing really, mostly my studies and helping mama at home.” She grins broadly. 

“You haven’t been getting into any trouble now, have you, Marie?” Petra’s tone drops slightly, but she still smiles. 

“No trouble, Petra, I promise! I’ve been good!” Marie exclaims. She lays her head on the bed beside Petra’s belly, and looks up with big brown eyes. “I _promise_ I’ve been good.” 

“Okay, Marie,” Petra pauses before reaching over and fiddling with Marie’s hair again. “I believe you.” 

Marie laughs, burying her face in the off-white bedsheets. 

Levi watches from the corner, his mind warping with memories of his brother and sister--though they weren’t _biologically_ related, the trio was as close to blood as possible. 

_Isabel Magnolia._ Levi remembers her roaring laugh, her caring nature--the same caring nature turning to utter stupidity when she tried to set a bird with a broken wing free above ground by going up the 11th Stairwell without paying. Had Levi and Farlan not came to her rescue, who knows what would’ve happened. 

_The Underground is no place for a young lady, especially one like Isabel who didn’t know when to bite her tongue._

And still, Isabel was one of the best people Levi had ever met. She might not have been very bright, but she sure was kind, and what she lacked in intelligence she made up in kindness. 

Seeing Marie now, hunched over in a fit of laughter at a joke Levi had not heard, he couldn’t help but think that her and Isabel would be great friends--hell, they even look alike. 

“Captain?” Marie asked, waving her hand about. 

“Hm? What?” Levi blinked. 

“I asked you a question.” Marie said. When Levi made an annoyed expression, Marie repeated her question: “I asked if you’ve been helping Petra. She hasn’t been alone, has she?” 

“Marie, I’m fine--” Petra begins, but Levi cuts her off. 

“Yes, I’ve been helping her. I have orders from the commander not to leave her side.” Levi crosses his arms tightly across his chest, speaking in a slow voice. “Besides, her and I--” 

“Wait, did you say _commander_?” Marie asks, her brown eyes wide. 

Levi nods, mumbling, “Yes, Erwin and I--” 

“Commander Erwin?” Marie nearly leaps out of her chair. “As in _the_ Commander Erwin? Leader of the entire Scouting Regiment? _He_ gave orders for you to tend to Petra?” 

“Yes?” Levi says, though it was more of a question than a statement. 

“Petra, can you believe that?” Marie exclaims. 

When Petra doesn’t respond, Marie continues: “The commander of the Scouts gave direct orders to _Humanity’s Strongest_ soldier to be at your bedside? Petra, you have to be such a grand soldier to get that! Wait until mama and daddy find out!” 

“Marie, it isn’t that big of a deal, really.” Petra says, hushing Marie, who’d began to go red in the face from excitement. “Believe me. And, yes, being spoken to by Commander Erwin is a great honour but I do that at least once a week.” 

“ _Really_?” Marie’s eyes bulge. 

“Really.” Petra smiles. “The commander isn’t a man like the king and the nobles, he values his soldiers and treats them with the same honour they give him. He hasn’t lost his humanity merely because he became a high ranking officer.” 

“You’re sure as hell right with that,” Levi mutters to himself, and eliciting a confused look from Marie. 

“What do you mean?” She asks. 

“I mean that if there’s one thing that’s more valuable to Erwin than his men, it’s humanity.” Levi pauses, shakes his head, and adds: “Honestly, I think that he values the fate of humanity over his men. If there’s a sacrifice that needs to be made for the fate of humanity, Erwin would make it--no matter the cost.” 

Marie’s brown eyes glisten in awe as she listens to Levi speak fondly of Commander Erwin.

“Just out of curiosity,” Levi scrunches his face. “What is it with you and Commander Erwin? I’ve never heard anyone speak of him the way you do, not even the other Scouts. It’s… unsettling.” 

“Levi!” Petra scolds, but he merely shrugs in response. 

“Um, well…” Marie rubs at the back of her neck, her face flushing a pale pink. “I mean, he’s fascinating! Only thirty-five and commander of the Scouts! With his family, he easily could’ve become a politician or nobleman, but he decided to risk his life and joined the Scouts! He’s just… it’s just… He’s just _fascinating !”_

Petra smiled at Marie’s ramblings, while Levi stared in utter shock. He’d never known anyone to be so obsessed with Erwin before--Erwin was not the kind of man who had young women fawning over him, or at least there wasn’t any to Levi’s knowledge. 

Levi and Erwin had known each other for years and they were practically brothers--but was there another side of him that Levi had never known? 

“Do you have to help daddy in the shop today?” Petra asks, but Levi doesn’t pay much mind anymore, he was too confused but he refused to show it. If anyone looked his way, they would see the ever-serious and emotionless Captain Levi. There was a select few who even knew that Levi had emotions in the first place. 

“Yes, I’m supposed to go there after school, but I stopped here first. I wanted to surprise you!” Marie says. 

“Thank you for that, and you did surprise me.” Petra smiles softly. “But you best get going before daddy gets worried--you know how he and mama worry.” 

Marie groans. “Fine, I’ll go.” 

“Good girl,” Petra says, kissing her fingertips and pressing them to Marie’s forehead. “And stay out of trouble!” 

“I will, Petra, I promise!” Marie leaps up, wrapping her thin shawl around her chest. She pauses, then gives Petra a salute with the biggest smile Levi had ever seen from a person giving a salute. 

Weakly, Petra crosses her arm across her chest and salutes back. 

She giggles and drops her hand, but when she turns to Levi she jumps back into another salute--though reluctant, Levi salutes back. 

Marie grips her shawl again and bounds out of the hospital room, closing the door behind her. 

Once Levi is sure she is out of hearing range, he sits in the stool at Petra’s bedside and mutters, “She may just be the strangest person I’ve ever met.” 

“Oh, be nice, Levi.” Petra says, reaching her hand over the bed and lightly tapping Levi’s knee. “She’s my sister.” 

“Yes, I know she’s your sister,” Levi touches Petra’s hand before mumbling, “But that doesn’t mean she isn’t really damn weird.” 

“I know,” Petra laughs. “But you’ll learn to love it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so my internet cut out as I was hitting upload and it completely deleted everything and i had to start over (thankfully I had the chapter already written in a google doc). Anyway, y'all finally met Marie! She is an OC of mine who is heavily based on my sister Katelynn, both personality and appearance wise. I tried to plan this so Marie was as close to my sister but also fits in this world--the one thing I didn't plan was how much of a simp for Erwin she ended up being. Like I have no idea where that came from but it was too funny to take out (for the record: Marie mostly just has a great deal of respect for Erwin, as well as a fascination. Kinda the way we see celebrities. Maybe it's a childhood crush that everyone has that goes no where and your friends will tease you about when you get older, that sorta thing.) While editing this chapter I actually showed my sister a picture of Erwin and she was like "hey it's eyebrow guy!" and i was like yes that is exactly who that is. She knows like 4 characters so far, and only 2 by name (Eren, Levi, eyebrow guy, and horse face). If you ask her who her favourite characters are she'll say Eren and horse face and its obvious that Eren is her favourite. Anyway, I hope y'all liked this chapter! Love y'all! 
> 
> ~ M


	6. Chapter 6

“The doctor said you need to do these stretches everyday,” Levi said, wrapping his hand around Petra’s and gently bending her arm back at the elbow. 

“I know,” She grimaces. “But that doesn’t mean they don’t hurt.” 

“I know, and I’m sorry.” Levi continues to do the stretches. “Just remember: these first few weeks are the shittiest, but they get better. I promise it’ll get better.” 

Petra can’t manage her usual smile--now she just focuses on the stretches, and Levi’s hand wrapped around her own. 

_Somehow, with Levi here, everything is a little bit easier._

“Are you ready to do your legs or do you want to take a break?” Levi asks, releasing her arm. 

“Let’s do it and get it over with.” Petra responds. “If we get it all done in one go, it won’t take as long and won’t hurt as bad.” 

“Good thinking.” Levi goes to the foot of the bed and rolls the off-white blanket over to one side and lifts Petra’s ankle with one hand. “Okay, first push on my palm as hard as you can.” 

Petra does as she’s told and obediently pushes her foot against Levi’s hand--she strains herself and tries to push harder than before. 

“Okay, release pressure.” Levi changes his grip and adds, “Now push again… good. I’ll start the next stretch, okay?” 

Petra nods, moving slowly along with Levi as he bends her leg at the knee. 

His movements are gentle, but secure--despite the deep ache, she feels safe with Levi guiding her every movement. 

Levi gently puts her leg down, rolls the blanket over to the opposite side, and they repeat the same process with her other leg. 

“You did good, darling.” Levi mumbles, pulling the covers over both Petra’s legs and sitting in the stool beside the bed. “If you’d like, I could get you some ice for your joints, I’m sure we have some and it might help the ache.” 

“I’m okay, Levi. Thank you.” Petra says, mustering a small smile. 

They sit in silence for a moment or two before Petra asks, “Levi… how did you manage to get out of the attack unscathed? Our entire squad was slaughtered, but you don’t look like you were even in the fight. How did you manage that?” 

“According to Erwin, I’m not totally unscathed, but I’m okay.” He pauses. “But… it’s a long story.” 

“We have plenty of time,” Petra says. “And what do you mean ‘not totally unscathed?’” 

Levi sighs heavily. “It’s complicated. And Erwin is convinced I injured my leg when I fell on a patch of hardened titan skin, and that’s thanks to Mikasa talking shit.” 

“I’m sure she wasn’t talking shit. She was probably just worried about you. And what kind of injury?” 

“He says I might have a fractured ankle,” Levi says, ignoring the growing throb in his leg and instead saying, “But I’m fine.” 

“Might?” Petra gives a confused look. 

“Well, I haven’t actually gotten it checked.” He says, adding again: “But I’m fine.” 

“I doubt you’re fine, Levi. I know you, and you would say you’re fine if your arm had just been ripped off. You refuse to show any kind of pain or sign your human.” Petra shakes her head in frustration. “Why won’t you accept that you’re human?” 

Levi sighs heavily from aggravation, running his hand across his face and through his hair. 

“Look, it’s complicated.” He drops his hand. “Hell, _I_ don’t even understand it and I’m the one affected!” 

“Levi, what are you talking about?” Petra’s voice takes a concerned tone. “Your face is all red, you need to calm down. It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me if it’s that personal, but… with as close as we are, you have got to tell me eventually because I can help you.” 

“You can’t help me,” Levi clenches his fists. “Not with this. This is something greater than you or I, something that could very well attract many dangerous people.” 

Petra pauses before whispering in a breathy voice, “Dangerous people?” 

“Thugs, gang members, criminals hired by nobles to do their dirty work.” He gnaws at the inside of his cheek before mumbling, “I should know, I was one of them.”

“You were _what_?” Petra gasps, unable to contain her shock. “I don’t know much of your past, but…” 

Petra suddenly stops speaking, her mouth agape. 

_They’d become so close, he knew so much about her, and yet she knew practically nothing about him._

_She didn’t even know his last name._

“Nobody except a few people know my past.” He shakes his head, fists still clenched tightly. “It’s too dangerous.” 

“You can tell me,” Petra mumbles. “Danger don’t mean much to me, or have you forgotten that I am a soldier?”

“I know you’re strong, but believe me…” Levi pauses again, his mind slowly filling with memories he wished he could forget. “Even strong people become weak here.” 

“I don’t think there’s much left that could take us down.” Petra says. 

“Maybe you’re right,” Levi chuckles softly, but the moment of slight joy is dropped in an instant. “But still. This is a world of darkness.” 

“What is?” 

“The Underground.” Levi says, his words coming out sharp as steel. 

“The… Underground?” Petra cocks her head. She’d heard tales--no, _horror_ stories--of an underground city, the one made of the ruins of a failed evacuation plan. “It’s… It’s real?” 

“Yes, it's very real.” Levi muttered. “I grew up there.” 

“You grew up in the Underground?” Petra asked. 

“Yes.” He shook his head, memories flooding faster and faster with every passing second. “It was one of the worst times of my life. I would’ve done anything to get out of that hellhole.” 

Petra couldn’t suppress her curiosity. “What was it like?” 

“Filthy.” Levi scowled. “There was dirt and grime on every surface, and on every street corner was a painted whore. Brothels and pubs were always in business, and yet the workers lived in poverty. The stairways mocked us--even if you managed to pay the toll, it wouldn’t mean shit without papers. You’d just get sent right back down.” 

“That sounds… horrible.” Petra muttered. She looked at Levi, and though he was at her bedside, he wasn’t truly there--he was a little boy again, curled in the corner, starving and alone. 

Petra reached out to grasp Levi’s calloused hand, but he barely responded--he was too far gone. 

“Where were your parents during all of this?” Petra asked, and Levi scoffed. A horrifying image crossed her mind, “You weren’t alone, were you?” 

“My mother died when I was four, and I never knew my father.” He pauses. “My mother was a prostitute, and she got knocked up by one of her clients--truly pitiful. A family _‘acquaintance’_ ” He stops and scoffs at the word. “Tried to convince her to get rid of me, but my mother was a stubborn woman and refused… maybe the same man is the one who killed her.” 

“Killed her?” Petra whispered absentmindedly, the shock overcoming her senses. 

“Well, if he hadn’t given her that disease, she would still be around.” Levi sighs. “Or at least I like to think she would.” 

_Disease._ Petra thought _. An STD, most likely. Most people diagnosed can go on with their normal lives, but without proper treatment, they can be fatal. With the way Levi describes the Underground, a decent doctor was probably non-existent._

“I’m… I’m so sorry, Levi. I never knew, if I would’ve known, I wouldn’t have pushed you--” Petra rambles, but Levi cuts her off. 

“Don’t apologize.” He waves his hand, both in a dismissal of Petra and the memories. He gives a half hearted smile before adding, “Besides, what kinda man would I be if I didn’t learn all the shit I did there? I doubt I’d be in the position I am now. I’d be shocked if I was still alive.” 

Levi spoke confidently now, with the voice of man and the strength of an entire battalion. 

No longer was he that frail little boy, huddled in a corner, starving and alone, terrified of his own shadow--he is a captain now.

Levi tells himself this over and over, day and night, but it doesn't stick. 

There are horrid moments when he is back in that hellhole, clinging to life as his mother's corpse rots in the bed across the room. 

There are moments where he feels the shattered glass in his palm, the warmth of the tea spilling over his fingers as he wept and swore to never break another teacup again.

Hellish moments like these, Levi was no longer Humanity’s Strongest. 

Moments like these he is a scared little boy again, curled in a corner, starving and alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has got to be one of my favourites so far. I was originally gonna end it at Levi asking what kind of man he would be if he hadn't experienced everything he did (something commonly said by people with trauma to justify their trauma), but I thought of the end when I was trying to sleep and thought it just fit really well. I've edited that part a lot, and even read it to a friend who loved it, but I'd love to know y'all's thoughts on that part, or this story in general. What part do you like the most? Is there anything you want to see happen? Is there anything I could improve on? Please comment your thoughts!! Anyway, I hope y'all liked it! Love y'all! 
> 
> ~ M


	7. Chapter 7

There was a light knock on the door, the conversations of nothingness momentarily halted. 

The knob turned, and a mess of red frills slipped through the crack. 

“Good afternoon, Petra.” Marie said with a grin, holding two boxes behind her back. “How’ve you been?” She asked, but didn’t wait for a response. “I have a surprise for you!” 

Marie swiftly held the boxes in front of her, and held the smaller out to Petra. 

“Oh?” Petra opens her hand. “What is it?” 

“You gotta open it to know that, silly.” Marie places the little box in Petra’s hand. “So open it!” 

Inside the box was a yellow ribbon, wrapped in a neat bow. The ends were frayed slightly, but nothing that a few stitches couldn’t fix. 

To say it was a colour as plain as ‘yellow’ is an insult--it was one of the most vibrant yellows Levi or Petra had ever seen, the kind only worn by children of the highest nobels.

“Do you like it?” Marie asked shyly. “I saw it at the market today, and I knew you liked the colour yellow, so I bought it. I also got one for myself!” 

Marie spins around, pointing to her hair that had somewhat been tamed by a green bow tied in the back. 

“It’s beautiful, Marie.” Petra fiddles with the ribbon. “Thank you, I love it.” 

“Good.” Marie sits at the foot of the bed and smiles, before jumping up again. “Oh! I almost forgot--Captain, I got something for you too!” 

“For me?” Levi raises an eyebrow. 

“Yes, for you. I couldn’t get something for Petra and not for you too.” She shakes her head, fingers tracing the outline of the bigger box. “That’d be rude, or at least that’s what mama says. So I got you this.” 

Marie holds out the box, but Levi doesn’t move. She shakes it a little, and nudges his arm. 

“Well, are you gonna take it?” Marie giggles. Hesitantly, Levi takes the box. “Aren’t you gonna open it? Look inside!” 

Finally, Levi opens the lid and is greeted by a thin layer of wax paper. Marie waves her hand and gestures for him to continue. 

Slowly, he pulls back the paper and struggles to hide his shock and excitement. 

Laying on another layer of wax paper was a blade with a beautifully engraved wooden handle--fine craftsmanship in every detail. 

“Marie, I can’t--” Levi begins, holding the box out but Marie cuts him off. 

“Can’t accept it? Too late.” Marie arches her head away and grins. “You already accepted the box and therefore what’s _ inside _ the box. No take-backs.” 

“That is not how that works,” Levi counters. 

“It is now.” She says and Levi scoffs. “Can’t you just say thank you and move on?” 

“Well, people don’t normally give me of all people gifts.” Levi examines the blade again. “I guess I’m just not used to it. Hey, wait, how much was this?”

“None of your business.” Marie nods curtly. “And if no one ever has given you a gift, then I’ll be the first. Happy birthday or whatever.” 

“It isn’t my birthday.” Levi says. 

“Well, I don’t know when your birthday is, so consider this either a late gift or early gift.” She pauses. “When is your birthday anyway?” 

“None of your business.” Levi mocks. Marie rolls her eyes. 

“Oh, come on, just tell me! It isn’t like it’s such a big deal, it’s just a date.” She glances over at Petra. “Do you know when it is?” 

Petra looks down in thought before mumbling, “No, I don’t.” 

“See? Even more reason to tell us. Petra doesn’t know it and y’all seem to be real close.” She leans forward. “So when is it?” 

Levi sighs heavily before muttering, “December 25th.” 

“December 25th?” Marie beams. “Your birthday is on Christmas? That’s awesome!” 

“It isn’t that big of a deal, calm down.” Levi mumbles, distracting himself by analyzing the engraved details on the handle. “Like you said, it’s just a date.” 

“Well, I lied.” Marie shakes her head. “It’s your birthday _ and _ Christmas, that most certainly isn’t just a date.” 

“Fine, you can think whatever you please.” Levi scrunches his face before mumbling under his breath, “But that doesn’t mean you’re right.” 

Marie rolls her eyes and glances at Petra, asking: “Is he always this stubborn?” 

“Yes.” Petra says with a smile. “This is rather tame compared to everything else, but overall, yes, he is always this stubborn.” 

“I am not stubborn.” Levi grumbles. 

“Yes, you are.” Petra says. “You’re being stubborn right now.” 

Levi mutters something under his breath again, but his thoughts are cut off by a knock at the door. 

The bronze knob turns, and a man in a white coat steps inside, holding a clipboard and wearing a smile. 

“Good afternoon, Ms. Ral.” The doctor says, nodding. “And to you as well, Captain.” 

“Hi, doc.” Petra smiles. “Any new updates?” 

“Yes, actually.” The doctor flips through papers before adding, “And this time, it’s good.” 

At this, both Petra and Levi release a breath they hadn’t realize they’d been holding. 

“I honestly believe that you could be sent home soon, and you could continue your recovery there.” The doctor says with a smile. “However, there will be some… restrictions, to put it simply.” 

“Restrictions?” 

“In order for you to have any hopes of walking properly again, you’ll have to be exceptionally careful at all times.” The doctor pulls a sheet from his folder. “We spoke to some of our best specialists, and they drew up this design for a brace.” 

He holds out the paper, offering it to either Petra or Levi--his intentions weren’t clear, and the offering went to whoever took it first. 

Petra reached with a shaky and took the design from the doctor. 

Overlaid on a figure of a woman was black strips, wrapping around her torso and down both her legs. 

There were circles at the knees, and it looked scarily similar to the multitude of straps used with ODM gear. 

“It looks daunting, I know, but it looks scarier than it is.” The doctor says, gesturing to the straps on the woman. “These will be made of metal, but padding will be under everything so you won’t feel it. For extra protection, you could wrap your knees in gauze.” 

“What is the end goal of this?” Levi asks, an emotionless mask covering his protective nature.

“The brace will restrict movement just enough so Ms. Ral doesn’t injure herself more, and it will give her a bit more freedom than total beddridance will.” The doctor glances over at Petra. “I know you’re a soldier, and this just isn’t the way a soldier ought to recover.”

“Do you believe this is the best course of action?” Levi asks, his scowl dropping slightly--not enough for the doctor to notice, or Marie, but just enough for Petra to see. 

“Yes, I do.” The doctor looks down at his hands. “My brother was like you, a Scout. My father was furious that he wanted to become a soldier and not a doctor, but he was hell-bent on seeing what was beyond the walls. If he was in your position, I’m sure he would want the option that gave him the most freedom.” 

Petra fiddled with the bedsheet before mumbling, “What was his name?” 

“Ezekial.” The doctor smiles faintly. “He was three years my senior.” 

“You speak of him in the past tense,” Petra notes. “Why?” 

“He died on the 54th Expedition outside the walls.” The doctor says simply, as if it didn’t bother him--but the glaze over his eyes said otherwise. “His comrades said he fought bravely until the end, and that’s what I believe. I refuse to believe otherwise.” 

“I’m sure he did.” Levi said, crossing his arms. “In my time serving, I’ve seen many good soldiers die at the hands of titans. All of them, every single one, fought bravely until the very end--and if Ezekial is as good a man as you say, I’m sure he was the same.” 

The doctor didn’t meet Levi’s eyes, merely studied the floor and gave a sorry smile. 

“Thank you, Captain.” He said. “Because of him is why I do this. Tend to wounded Scouts, I mean. If they were strong enough to face those devils and come back alive, then I’ll do my damndest to make sure they go home to their families.” 

Levi stands, and claps the doctor on the shoulder. “You’re a good man, doc.” 

The doctor smiles again before looking up at Petra, asking: “So, Ms. Ral, have you made your decision yet?” 

Petra doesn’t hesitate before saying firmly: “Yes, I have. I’ll do the brace.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we've finally gotten to the reason behind the title! The "girl with the yellow ribbon" is Petra, and the ribbon was a gift. I thought that it was just cute and fit whatever aesthetic I was going for. Also, I've tried to stay as realistic as I could for all the medical things in this story as I could (by realistic I mean I asked my grandma--a retired nurse--if this was possible. Like the scene where Levi felt Petra's back in the first chapter. I asked her if it was possible to feel a broken back, and she said yes and told me a terrifying story of a man who was hit by a car and her stopping four lanes of on coming traffic by jumping in the way... yeah my grandma's kinda wild and had a big part in helping me with this story). But the one thing that I'm not sure how realistic it is would be Petra's brace. I kinda just combined different braces and used the power of fanfiction for it to work (leg splints, a scoliosis brace, and a knee brace are essentially what her brace is made of). Also I kept saying "the doctor" because I literally couldn't think of a fitting name for him. I'll probably give him one later, but for now he is Doctor. Anyway, I hope y'all liked this chapter! Love y'all! 
> 
> ~ M


	8. Chapter 8

“Come on, darling. You can do this.” Levi holds his arms out. “Walk to me. It’s just a few steps, you can do it.”

Petra grips the back of the chair, her nightdress hanging limply around the metal straps that hugged her legs tightly. 

She exhales deeply, gnawing her lower lip before taking a wobbly step. Then another, and another, and another. 

Suddenly, she’s in Levi’s arms again.

“You did it, Petra!” Levi cried. 

“I did it,” Petra whimpers, allowing Levi to bear most of her weight. “I did it.” 

“Yes, and you did it so good too, darling.” Levi mutters, pressing a kiss against her forehead. He sighs, and mutters into her hair: “You did so good.” 

Maybe she should’ve waited for the doctor to come back, or maybe Marie should’ve been there, but Petra was too filled with adrenaline to care. 

The doctor had explained how her brace worked, and that it might take a while to get adjusted--but the first time Levi helped her strap it on, she was unable to wait for aid or professional supervision. 

Petra Ral had just taken her first steps since the 57th Expedition, and the ache in her joints and the hot tears on her cheeks assured her that it was all real. 

“Do you want to sit down?” Levi asked, cupping her face gently so she looked at him directly.  _ While the captain was rather short, Petra was definitely sorter. _ “I can help you, or do you wanna try and do it yourself.” 

“I wanna try it myself.” Petra pushed herself upward, and Levi made sure she was steady before removing his hands completely. 

“Okay, you got this.” Levi didn’t physically touch her, but held both hands out to spot her as an extra precaution--it wasn’t a far walk, and she’d already done well, but Levi didn’t want to take that risk. 

Again, in all her marvelous and hesitant glory, Petra walked to the bed. 

“Here, let me help you sit down.” Levi gingerly pressed his hand to Petra’s back and guided her to sit. 

Something inside Levi was startled when he touched the small of Petra’s back--instead of being met by the warmth of her skin radiating through her thin nightdress, he was met by the unwavering coolness of metal. 

Petra shifted uncomfortably in a feeble attempt to adjust to the stiffness of the brace. 

The brace itself was large, with the center contraption being a corset-like binding around her midsection. 

_ Now I’ll be like those fancy noble women in the city, _ Petra joked.  _ I’m shocked they can even breathe, with how tight they keep their corsets and all.  _

Levi, however, didn’t think it was as amusing as she did. 

_ Petra had no place amongst those noble pigs, _ Levi thought.  _ She was utterly beautiful; none of their extravagant clothes or wealth could ever compare.  _

Unlike the noble women’s corsets, Petra’s didn’t stop at just her bust--it wrapped around her shoulders to keep her back straight. 

From there, metal bindings connected rods down both her legs, bendable at the knees and secured at the ankles. 

Despite there being a thick layer of padding between the metal and her soft skin, Levi was sure it was quite uncomfortable--or it at least looked the part. 

“I can’t believe I did it,” Petra mumbled to herself. 

“Did what?” Levi had been so enthralled with the thought of Petra and the inner workings of her brace that he’d lost track of reality. 

“Walked on my own.” She laughs half-heartedly. “I haven’t done that since…” 

“I know,” Levi wrapped his arm around her shoulders and whispered, “And I’m so damn proud of you.” 

“Thank you,” Petra leans her head against Levi’s shoulder. “I honestly didn’t think I’d ever walk again.” 

“I knew you would, I never lost faith that you’d get better--and look! You’re already doing so much better than you were even yesterday.” Levi lied. He wasn’t about to tell her how many sleepless nights he went wondering if she’d ever recover. He tried to keep faith, he really did, but seeing her bedridden for so long began to take a toll. 

“Do you want to lay down? I can help, if you want.” Levi asked, quickly changing the subject. 

“No, I want to stay upright.” She replied, her toe dancing across the floor. “I haven’t felt the floor like this in a long time. It’s strange.” 

Levi didn’t respond, simply kept his arm around her shoulders securely--in all honesty, he wasn’t sure if he was attempting to keep her steady or if he just wanted to be close. 

Perhaps it was a bit of both. 

“Levi?” Petra touched his leg softly. Once she had his attention, she pointed over to her bag hanging on the wall. “Will you get me my sewing kit and the ribbon Marie bought?” 

Levi didn’t question her motives, and did as she asked, retrieving both the ribbon and sewing kit before sitting beside Petra again. 

“Thank you,” She said, smoothing out the ribbon between her fingers. “The ends are fraying and I want to keep this as beautiful as it is now, so I will put a few stitches at the ends to keep it together. It’s what my mother taught me to do.” 

Levi nodded at her explanation. He watched as she fiddled with threads, finally settling on a white one. 

She unraveled the thread, pulling it to her desired length, and brought it up to her mouth to cut. Levi raised an eyebrow. 

“Sometimes we couldn’t find the scissors, so mama would cut the thread with her teeth.” Petra said simply. “I guess I just picked up on it.” 

Levi hummed in response and continued to watch, but a nagging voice in his head couldn’t look past the tremble in Petra’s hands. 

She picked a needle, held it into the light, and attempted to thread it--however, her hands shook so violently now it was impossible to keep steady. 

Petra pretended not to notice, and continued to try to thread the needle to no avail. Her hands continued to shake. 

Levi took Petra’s small hands in his, and brought her back to reality--though the shaking hadn’t stopped, the roughness of his hands soothed her in a way she didn’t understand. 

“It’s okay, calm down,” Levi whispered, running a calloused finger across her palm. “It’s best not to push yourself too much. You’ve already done so much today, maybe this can wait until tomorrow?” 

Petra sighed. She knew with the shakes it would be nearly impossible to thread her needle, or even get a half-decent stitch. 

“Okay,” Petra murmured, and placed the unused needle back into the pin cushion. “Tomorrow, then. I’ll mend the ends tomorrow.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this has to be my favourite chapter so far. Like, while writing I literally started crying because I was just so proud of Petra?? Like it's been weeks since she walked and she finally took her first steps. Over the course of this story I feel like I've grown closer to Petra's character and seeing her pass such a big milestone is awesome. I just love her so much and am so proud of her. Anyway, this is the last chapter I had pre-written so I hope y'all liked it! Love y'all!
> 
> ~ M


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, y'all! I'm so sorry for how long this took to upload!!

Petra ignored the steady throb in her shoulders when she reached up to secure the yellow ribbon in her hair. 

That morning, Levi helped Petra secure her brace and sit her upright on the bed. 

However, unlike the other times Levi strapped her into the brace, she did not joke about the corsets of noble women--she spoke only four words with a smile. 

_ I’m going home today.  _

She said it as if she didn’t really believe it, like it was a dream--a part of her feared that tomorrow morning she would wake up in the hospital bed, and her hopes of going home were dashed. 

But as she had done hundreds of times before, she pushed her fears away and carried on. 

After she got her brace, she made the choice to wear the yellow ribbon Marie gave her as a surprise. 

Levi offered to help despite not knowing a single thing about hair ribbons, but Petra declined. He’d already helped her so much these last few weeks, she wanted to do something on her own--even if it was as simple as putting a ribbon in her hair. 

And that’s what she did. 

She ignored the throb in her shoulders and ache in her chest, and tied the ribbon in a bow that held her bangs out of her face. 

For the first time since her injury, she felt pretty and strong. 

“Do you like it?” Petra asked, tilting her head so the morning sun glimmered on the satin material. 

“I do,” Levi said, crossing the room in three swift strides, a bag slung over his left shoulder. “You look beautiful.” 

Petra’s face flushed with the faintest shade of pink and she smiled, muttering softly: “Thank you.” 

Levi paused a moment before asking, “Are you ready to go home? See your folks and Marie?” 

“Yes, I can’t wait.” Petra said, the widest smile crossing her face as she bounced slightly on the mattress. “I haven’t been home in so long.” A thought crossed her mind and her smile fell. “Levi?” 

“Hm?” 

“Where will you go?” She asked. Erwin ordered him to stay home, but she often wondered if he had a home. Whenever they were off, she found him tucked away in his office, a candle burned halfway and a hot cup of tea on his desk.

“I’ll go…” He trailed off, the same thoughts crossing his mind. 

“You can come home with me,” Petra offered quickly. When Levi’s face turned to confusion, she added: “I meant you could stay with us, my parents and Marie. I’m sure they’d be okay with it, especially Marie--she already loves you--and we have a spare room you could stay in, and I’d feel more comfortable if you were close by after everything we’ve been through--” 

“Slow down, Petra,” Levi said, touching her shoulder gently before sitting beside her on the bed. “Don’t get yourself all worked up, you’re going red. We’ll figure everything out when the time comes.” 

“Right, sorry.” She mumbled. 

“Don’t apologize. You’ve been through a lot, it’s understandable that you’re nervous, but just know that you won’t be alone.” He shifted, and wrapped his arms around Petra’s frail body securely. 

_ Petra never feels safer than when Levi wraps his arms around her; he is strong and secure and warm and for a moment in this hellish world, Petra feels safe.  _

“I promise,” Levi mutters, pressing his lips against her shoulder and again on her neck. “I  _ promise _ you won’t ever be alone. I’ll be there, I’ll take care of you.” 

Petra was unable to speak or even think, all she could do was focus on Levi’s arms wrapped around her and the kisses he left along both her covered and exposed skin. 

Levi felt Petra’s tears soak through his shirt, but he didn’t care--she could cry on all his shirts if it meant she would never be alone again. 

He held her in his arms for as long as humanly possible--if he had his choice, he’d never let go. They’d stay here, in each other's arms, forever. 

Levi had seen Petra so many times--he saw her when she was laughing and crying, he saw her on the battlefield with the eyes and intensity of a soldier. 

He saw her in the torch light in the castle halls, clinging to him in the shadows. 

He saw her perched on his desk, begging him to get rest, saying he’d work himself to death if he kept going like this. 

He saw her asleep in his bed the night she dared sneak out of her quarters and into his. She curled into him, and he put aside his loathing of beds and held her as she slept, inhaling the sweet smell of vanilla and strawberries. 

But all those memories were tainted with the scene of her chest arched against the tree as she clung to a spider’s thread of life, his cravat pressed against her belly in a vain attempt to stop the bleeding, her sweet smell of vanilla and strawberries horrifically combined with the metal stench of blood. 

_ There was so much blood.  _

Levi felt tears prickle in his eyes, and in response he only held Petra tighter. 

“I’ll never let you be alone,” Levi swore against her skin. “I swear on my life, you’ll never be alone.” 

Petra feels Levi’s breath against her neck and the hot tears rolling down her face, but despite the tears she never felt more at ease than she did in that moment--she felt safe, and she never wanted that feeling to end. 

Her first words were soft and unsure, and her voice shook. Petra didn’t even know if Levi heard her in the first place--so she said it again, and again, and again. 

“I love you,” She wept against Levi’s shoulder, clutching fistfulls of his shirt until her knuckles drained of colour. “I love you, I love you.” 

Tears dripped down Levi’s face, his words caught in his throat and he felt a sense of vulnerability he’d never felt before. 

His hands tangled in Petra’s hair, curling around and settling at the nape of her neck as he willed himself to believe the sobbing woman in his arms and he dared himself to say it back. 

“I love you,” Levi whispered, his mouth pressing against Petra’s neck again--not in a kiss, but in a desperate attempt to be as close as he could, and to convince himself that she wasn’t some figment of his imagination, or a delusion he yearned to hold. 

Petra felt Levi’s hands in her hair, she felt his breath on her skin, she felt his arms wrapped tightly around her--she felt everything and more. 

Levi felt Petra’s hands clutching his shirt, he felt her soft skin beneath his lips, he felt how small she was in his arms--he felt everything and more. 

They both felt everything and more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Like I said at the beginning, I'm so so sorry for how long this took to upload. I started school about a week ago and if any of y'all are going to school now, you know how stressful and chaotic it is to be a student during a pandemic. Not only that, but I'm a junior this year and it's notorious for being super hard (I'm taking a.p. lit, c.p. chem, latin 3, and show choir and that's not even my whole schedule it's a mess). I've barely had time to even work on this story with everything (I already had this chapter written but never got a chance to upload it). But really I just want to say thank you to all of y'all who have read this like y'all have no idea how much it means to me. Anyway, hope y'all liked it! Love y'all!


	10. Chapter 10

“Marie, put on a pot of tea!” Mrs. Ral called into the kitchen whilst clamoring about the small house. She turned to Petra, and Levi worried she would burst into tears on the spot. She reached up, touching Petra’s face gently as they sat side by side on the worn sofa. 

“I can’t believe you’re really here…” Mrs. Ral said, twiddling a lock of Petra’s hair between her fingers. “The doctors said you were hurt so badly they were shocked you were even alive--they didn’t know how you were alive. Seeing you in that hospital bed broke my heart, and I just didn’t know what to do.” 

“I know, mama, I know.” Petra mumbled, pressing her hand against her mother’s. 

“I prayed every single day for you,” She continued, but now glanced over at Levi, who had been sitting comfortably in an armchair. “And for you as well, Captain.” 

“Thank you, Mrs. Ral.” Levi said, his words soft but his expression stoic. “I’ve never been much of a praying man myself, but I do believe. And I believe all your prayers were heard and that’s why Petra is sitting here.” 

“I didn’t know you were religious, Levi.” Petra says to herself. 

“I am, I just don’t go around preaching to any person I see.” Levi shrugs. “Least that’s what my mother taught me to do.” 

“Well, your mother was a smart woman then. She raised a good man.” Mama smiled at Levi, and Levi nodded. 

“She was.” Levi said. 

_ If only you knew, _ he thought. _ My mother was smart in the sense she didn’t take anyone’s shit. She wasn’t a housewife or a shopkeeper, she was something these people would never understand _ . 

Levi could see Petra bite the inside of her cheek from across the room--she knew his backstory, and his mother’s profession. 

They must’ve been thinking the same thing. 

_ These people would never understand.  _

“The tea’s ready,” Marie huffed, blowing a lock of hair out of her face. She came into the room with a tray holding the tea pot and sugar, with four cups stacked in twos. 

She set the tray on the table and sighed, silently praising herself for not shattering what few china pieces they owned. 

“Captain, how do you take your tea?” Mrs. Ral asked, taking the lid off the sugar and preparing a scoop. 

“Plain,” Levi says, pursing his lips. “Please.” 

“You don’t want any sugar or cream or anything?” She gives a questioning look. 

“No, thank you.” Levi said. 

_ Mother drank only black tea, with no sweetener nor additives. That’s the way she liked it.  _ Levi thought to himself as he accepted the cup.  _ And she taught me to like it, too _ .

“I don’t believe I ever thanked you properly, Captain.” Mrs. Ral mumbled into her tea. 

“For what?” Levi furrowed his brows in confusion. 

“For bringing my daughter home to me.” She says, studying the tea swirling in her cup. “If you hadn’t stopped, we wouldn’t be sitting here right now.” 

“I couldn’t sit idly by and let my comrades die,” Levi whispered, unable to speak too loudly as the memories of his squad came rushing back. “I wasn’t able to protect my men, but I was able to protect your daughter.” 

“And I will be forever grateful for that,” Finally, Mrs. Ral meets Levi’s eyes with a soft smile. “Our whole family is indebted to you.” 

“No, you don’t have to be.” Levi argued. “I did what any good soldier would do, and that’s tend to the wounded.” 

“Soldier or not, you brought our Petra home,” Mrs. Ral shakes her head in dismissal. “I understand now why she speaks so highly of you.” 

“What?” Levi asked, startled. 

Petra opened her mouth to stop her mother from speaking, but it did no good. 

“She wrote to us. She said she was forever loyal to her captain, and at the time we were w orried about her intentions…" She trailed off, but a proud look washed over her features. “But now we can see that you are just as loyal to her as she is to you.” 

“What a noble sentiment,” Levi mumbled, a small grin playing on his lips. “But, yes, I suppose Petra’s right. We are loyal to one another because we have to be. If we aren’t, then we’ll die. It’s as simple as that.” 

“Yes, of course,” Mrs. Ral says. “At the time, however, her father was worried that her loyalty wasn’t that of a soldier, but a woman. He still believes she’s a little girl and shouldn’t be speaking of marriage--” 

“Mama!” Petra exclaimed. Her outburst startled Marie, and she nearly dropped her cup--thankfully, she was able to recover it but did spill a few droplets onto her skirts.

“I can assure you, Mrs. Ral, that Petra’s intentions in this letter wasn’t anything more than a woeful proclamation of a soldier,” He pauses, his grin growing wider, before adding: “But I could be wrong.” 

“Sir!” Petra exclaimed again, her face flushing red. 

“Ah-ha!” Mrs. Ral shouted. “I knew it! Your father thought you were loyal to a fault to a man he’d never met, but I see now that it isn’t a fault at all.” 

“Mama, what are you saying?” Petra asked, her face still harbouring a faint redness. 

“I’m saying that whatever relationship you have is making you both stronger, and as soldiers you need all the strength you can get.” She says, but her voice softens when she mumbles: “And I don’t care what your father says, you have my blessing.” 

Petra exclaimed for the third time, and this time, Levi is caught off guard as well and chokes on his tea. 

“ _ What?”  _ They shout in unison. 

“Do you think I’m blind? Or stupid?” Mrs. Ral asked. “I can see it in your eyes, Petra. And you,” She turns to Levi. “You look like a man with a troubled past, but there’s this certain… glow about you both.” 

Neither Levi or Petra could argue, what would they say? 

When Levi agreed to meet Petra’s parents, he wasn’t aware that he would have to explain the details of their relationship. He’d hoped that would be saved for a later date. 

“Petra, I raised you. You know that I notice everything, like the fact that Marie spilt a drop of tea on her skirt when you yelled.” Mrs. Ral shakes her head. “I just don’t say it. Did you really believe that you could fool me?” 

“No, not fool, maybe just avoid the topic all together.” Petra mumbles, busying herself with her cup. 

“I understand, I do, but still.” Mrs. Ral sets her empty cup on the tray and grins. “We can drop the topic for now, but we’ll discuss it later. Preferably before your father finds out.” 

“Okay.” Petra says, breathing a sigh of relief. 

“Now,” Mrs. Ral gathers the cups onto the tray and glances at Petra. “Would you like me to draw you a bath?” 

“Yes, that would be nice.” Petra says softly. “Please.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I didn't realize that I had two chapters and not one, so I'm uploading this as well. Also, sorry if Levi is a little ooc in this? I'm still trying to figure out how to write his character properly so bear with me. Anyways, hope y'all liked it! Love y'all!


	11. Chapter 11

The water temperature steadily drew cooler and Petra knew that her time would soon be up, lest she wanted to bathe in cold water.

She had washed her hair and scrubbed her body raw—for the first time since her injury, she felt independent. 

_The towel is just over there, it isn't that far . . ._ Petra thought, studying the towel hanging on a rack. _I've done so much, surely I can manage to get out of the bath on my own?_

Throwing a quick glance at her brace that lay beside the towel, Petra gripped the rim of the wash bin and pulled herself upward. 

She felt the water shift as her momentum went forward, and for a second all her injuries disappeared—she was herself again, she was able-bodied, and getting out of the bath was second nature to her. 

But suddenly that feeling vanished, drowned in the cold water as she came crashing down. 

Petra lurched forward, collapsing to her knees in the tub, her hands still clutching the rim as she cried out in a combination of pain and frustration. 

The door opened a moment later, and both Levi and Marie rushed into the small bathroom. 

"Petra, what happened?" Marie gasped, kneeling beside the wash bin, ignoring the water that had sloshed onto the floor and now soaks her skirts. 

"I thought I could . . . " Petra wheezes, clutching the rim still. "I thought I could do it myself." 

"Why would you do that? You're still healing," Marie said, her words scolding bit her voice soft. 

"I . . . I don't know. I thought I could do it." Petra let her arms fall from the rim and splash in the water before giving a sorrowful look towards them both. 

_I barely came to my knees._ Petra thought. _How pitiful._

"We need to get you out of the bath and make sure you didn't hurt yourself more." Levi says, stepping around Marie and locking eyes with Petra's bare shoulders. 

Petra, as if feeling his eyes, hurriedly pressed her arms across her chest in a vain attempt to save some dignity. 

"Marie, I will lift Petra out of the tub, will you hold open the towel?" Levi asked. 

"Yes, sir." She replied, turned to pull the towel off the hanging rack and ready herself. 

Levi turned again to Petra and rolled his sleeves up to the elbows before kneeling at the side. 

"Ready?" He asked softly, looking only at Petra's face. 

She nodded, too ashamed to meet his gaze. 

Levi leaned forward, dipping his arms into the cold water before getting a hold of Petra's body amongst the suds.

Petra kept her arms across her breasts the whole time, even after he set her on the tiles and Marie covered her with a towel. 

"Help her dry off and dress again, then call me back. If you want, you can put your brace back on or take a break from it. You just won't be able to do much." 

"I'll take a break from it." Petra muttered, clutching the towel around her shoulders. 

"Alright. Just dry off and dress, then I'll help you back into your bedroom or the sitting room, whichever you prefer." Levi said, his hand on the door frame. 

"I will, thank you." Petra said. 

"You don't have to thank me, Petra, we've been over this." Levi turned to leave the room and allow Marie to work, but still managed to hear Petra's response. 

"Yes, I do." 

"Do whatever you please, I can't stop you." Levi mumbled over his shoulder, unsure of whether Petra had heard or not. 

Either way, she was silent. 

_Why would she have done something as foolish as that?_ Levi thought, taking his seat in the armchair again, rubbing at his temples. _Surely she understood the risks. This isn't like her._

Levi had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he forgot momentarily what had happened, and then realized why she had been so quiet. 

_Was she embarrassed?_ Levi wondered. _Hell, I'd be embarrassed if it happened to me_ — _but still, it isn't like her._

From the day Petra joined Levi's squad, he was reluctant to see her as a woman. 

She was braver than most men he knew, and stronger than them as well—but she was still a woman. 

Levi hated the way his mind would wander when he thought of Petra, he hated the way he imagined her sleeping beside him every night or perching herself on his desk as he swore he had work to do but with every passing second his work seemed less and less compared to her. 

Levi was not prone to lewd or lustful thoughts, he simply wasn't that kind of man—but he was, at his core, still a man. 

Levi cursed himself for thinking such a way in this situation—Petra could be badly injured again, and this was his response. 

With a wave of his hand, he dismissed the thoughts and pushed them to the back of his mind; maybe one day, he'll let himself openly think such things, but not today. 

Instead, he sat, and waited for Marie's call and prayed his face had not flushed a deep shade of red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So I'm not like super proud of this chapter, but I also do? It's a weird combination of I Absolutely Hate This but also I Like This Just Enough Not Delete it. There are parts of this that I like but others that I need to improve on (mostly the romance bit at the end because, while writing this, I have learned that I cannot write romance to any extent). I hope y'all liked it! Love y'all!  
> ~ M


	12. Chapter 12

She was soft. Emotionally, physically, and mentally—she realized that as she laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, as a deep ache coursed through her whole body.

_ Would Levi come to her that night?  _ She wondered _. Maybe he’s in the sitting room with Marie, telling her his tales as a Scout. _

_ Maybe he’s in father’s study, swapping war stories over a hot cup of tea—black, of course. Levi never drank any tea other than black. _

_ Maybe he’s angry at her. Maybe he isn’t doing any of those things, and is instead brooding alone in the spare room down the hall. _

Petra couldn’t push away the tears that prickled in her eyes any longer, and she simply let the little droplets soak into her pillow.

Levi was surely angry with her—she saw the look in his eyes as he lifted her pathetic body from the water.

_ The worst part, _ she thought, _ was that he had every reason to be angry. _

Before Petra had made her foolish choice, she spoke privately to Levi. She spoke not like a soldier, but like a woman—she begged her stay at her side throughout the night, to hold her and love her, and tell her she was safe.

Now, she wondered, if Levi even remembered her tearful request or if his memory was tainted with the image of her collapsed in the tub.

There was a knock on the door. Was it Marie, or mama?

The knob turned, and Levi's face was illuminated for just a moment as the hall lights grazed his features, but when he shut the door the shadows engulfed him again.

Neither spoke.

Petra hastily wiped away her tears and prayed the darkness hid her.

After a long bout of silence, Levi asked: "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright," Petra lied. She spoke with a false confidence, ignoring the deep ache coursing through her veins as a result of her stupidity.

"I don't know why you would do something so foolish." Levi muttered, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms.

"I thought I could do it . . . " Her voice was no longer confident, and instead grew ashamed once again. "I'd done so much already, I just . . . I just thought I could do it."

"I understand, I guess. But still, it was reckless and you could've been seriously hurt." She could almost see his scowl through the darkness. "I thought you of all people would know better."

"I know." She whispered timidly. "I know . . . "

"But we all do stupid things, don't we?" Levi said suddenly. Petra was taken aback. "I guess it's just human nature to be stupid. And we're allowed to be stupid from time to time, but there are some things that shouldn't be handled with anything but total focus."

As he spoke, Levi pushed himself off the door and walked over to the bed, the heavy scent of black tea and soap wafting in his wake.

He stood at the side of Petra's bed, silent and unmoving, and Petra was unsure of what to do next.

Thinking little of her next actions, she slowly slid across the small bed toward the wall, lifting the blanket and patting the empty spot.

" _ Tsk _ ," Levi muttered, sliding his shoes off and placing them neatly at the side of the bed. "I can't stay with you for long, you know. What if one of your parents come in? Or Marie?"

Petra shrugged, mumbling, "I guess we'll deal with that if it happens."

"You sound so sure that it won't happen," Laying flat on his back, his head squarely on the second pillow, he gave her a look that somehow combined amusement and annoyance. "We both know what happens when you get overconfident."

"I suppose you're right," Petra said, turning herself gently so her head rested partially on Levi's shoulder and partially on his chest—while she wasn't able to move too much, she was determined to lay as close as possible.

They laid in silence for a long while, with Levi's hand fiddling with the fabric of Petra's nightdress and Petra basking in his warmth.

"You know what this reminds me of," Petra said against the material of Levi's shirt.

"Hm?" He hummed.

"The night I snuck into your quarters after everyone else had gone to bed. Do you remember it?" Through the darkness, Petra studied Levi's features—a sharp jaw, a pointed nose, thin lips, and hollowed eyes.

"Of course I remember it." He replied through a sigh. "I don't think I could forget, honestly. I wasn't sure when or where you'd gotten so brave, but when you come to my door that night, standing with only your nightdress and boots, I knew it was something worth remembering."

Levi spoke with total candor as he relived the moment, smiling faintly to himself. He remembers the sound of her soft knocks, he remembers the way the candlelight illuminated her and the room to the point where he wasn't sure if he was dreaming, he remembers how warm she was when she laid beside him.

Maybe more than that, he remembers the sweet smell of vanilla and strawberries that had been left behind the next morning. They were careful not to be seen coming out of his quarters together, especially since no one saw them go in, and so they left at separate times—Levi went first, and Petra waited about ten minutes before she greeted her squad and prepared the morning's coffee.

What she had done in those ten minutes, Levi didn't know, but what he did know is that when he'd gone back to finish his paperwork, there was the faintest smell of vanilla and strawberries lingering.

Maybe he'd imagined it, but he swore that every time she'd gone into his quarters, she left her beautiful mark behind.

Perhaps it was his heightened senses—Kenny always said he was different, stronger in many other ways, and noticed things most other people wouldn't. He wondered if he'd asked someone if they could smell the sweet odor of vanilla and strawberries, if they'd be able to.

While Levi had been caught in his thoughts, Petra's breathing had evened out and he was sure she'd fallen asleep.

However, Levi didn't move. He knew he couldn't stay for much longer because the longer he stayed, the risk of being caught was greater—but he just couldn't bring himself to move.

Levi wished he could stay there, wrapped up in threadbare blankets with Petra's head pressed against his chest, forever—no, he wished he could stay there for a time longer than forever because forever just wasn't enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlike the last chapter, I actually really like this one. I wrote half of this during choir and the other half on "Fighter's Block" (any writers out there, y'all need to try this it really helps). I think it's pretty obvious that I am not very good at writing romance but I'm trying to improve! I hope y'all liked it! Love y'all!   
> ~ M


	13. Chapter 13

"Captain?" Marie's voice was softer than Levi had ever heard before. She sounded timid, not like the loud, rambunctious girl she usually is.

"Yes?" He turned to face her, but her eyes were downcast as she refused to meet his gaze.

Suddenly, her entire demeanor changed. She looked up, expression firm, and clenched her fists.

"Will you teach me to fight?" She asked.

"Teach you to fight?" Levi echoed. Marie nodded curtly, keeping his gaze as long as she could bear.

"Yes, teach me to fight. I want to learn . . . " Her expression changed again, and instead of a face of ferocity she smiled sweetly. "And who better to learn from than Humanity's Strongest?"

"Don't call me that." Levi scowled. "You give me too much credit, I'm not as strong as you think I am. Not at all like the commander, who you seem to adore."

"Maybe you're right, but unless you can get the commander to teach me to fight, then you're the next best thing." She crossed her hands behind her back and rocked on the balls of her feet. "So will you do it?"

Levi sighed heavily. "Sure, I'll teach you to fight. But don't expect me to go easy on you just 'cause you're a little girl. I'll treat you the way I treat all the cadets."

"I wouldn't want it any other way," She grins. "So, when do we start?"

_ * * * * _

"You're holding your hands wrong," Levi said, thrusting a quick kick to Marie's abdomen, knocking her swiftly to the ground.

Brushing the dirt of her skirts, Marie stands on wobbly legs. She frowns.

"That's the third time you've gotten me down, what am I doing wrong?" She wheezed.

"You're holding your hands too high. You're so worried about protecting your face that you're leaving your stomach exposed." He dropped his fists and sighed. "It's a rookie mistake."

"Oh." Marie whispers, glancing down at her hands. She hadn't even been able to get one punch in, and if somehow she did manage to, she was sure it was a fluke.

Taking a deep breath, she raised her fists lower than before.

"Come on, hit me again." She bounced back and forth, urging Levi to make the first move.

"I've already knocked your ass to the ground three times, do you really want to make it a fourth?" Levi said.

"There won't be a fourth, I won't let it happen." She raised her fists higher without thought.

Levi, of course, noticed and took full advantage.

"You won't let it happen again?" He asked.

"No, I won't." She declared.

As soon as she spoke, Levi threw a quick right hook into her stomach, throwing her off balance.

"Then why did you leave your stomach exposed?"

Marie fell to the dirt for the fourth time.

_ * * * * _

"If Petra finds out that I helped you train, she'll be pissed." Levi muttered, sinking into the large arm chair.

"No, she won't." Marie said, dismissing his worries with a wave of her hand. "She used to help me train all the time before she . . . "

Marie's voice dropped suddenly, her face falling slack.

"Before her injury." Levi finished her sentence.

"Yeah, before her injury." Marie said sorrowfully. "Be honest, captain, do you think Petra will ever be like she was?"

"I don't know," He replied. "She lost a lot that day, and some of it will never come back. But I think, after a while, she'll be as close to the old Petra as she can be."

"So you're essentially saying no?" Marie said abruptly.

"Well . . . yes, to an extent, yes." Levi drug a hand down his face and sighed. "She won't ever be exactly the same as she was, no one would after something like that. You weren't there, and I pray that you won't ever have to go through something like that, so you wouldn't know. But I do believe that, at some point, she will get better."

"You're sure?" She asks.

Levi sighed again, muttering: "No, I'm not sure. I'm not sure of anything anymore, but I refuse to give up the idea that Petra will get better, and you shouldn't either."

"There is one thing I'm sure of." Marie said softly.

"And that would be?"

"When I'm old enough," She took a deep breath, preparing herself before shouting, "I'm gonna join the Scouts."

"Like hell you are!" Levi seethed. "There is no way you're joining the Scouts."

"You are a Scout and Petra's a Scout, so why can't I?" She argued.

"You don't know the half of what I've seen—you're still a little girl, and I refuse to let you be tarnished by the horrors that come with being a Scout." With one hand, Levi spoke passionately, and the other clutched the arm chair so tightly his knuckles drained of colour.

"I know I'm just a little girl, but when I grow up I won't be! I'll be brave and strong, I'll be just like you and Petra." Her brows furrowed as she argued a brick wall. "There is nothing more in life I want to be than like you two. You're my heroes."

"There's a reason they say not to meet your heroes and it's because the shit they do isn't heroic at all." His words were hard and cold. "You call us heroes, but you don't know half of what we do. Do you have any idea how many comrades I've seen die at the hands of titans? Do you have any idea how many letters to families I've had to write to tell them that their son isn't coming home? Do you have any idea how much blood I've had to clean off my hands?"

"That doesn't matter, none of it matters!" Marie screams. "It doesn't matter what you say or what horror stories you tell me, you won't change my mind. I'm going to join the Scouts, whether you want me to or not."

Levi stood abruptly and knelt before Marie. He grabbed her hands and urged her to look him in the eyes.

"Marie, you need to listen to me and you need to listen well." He said. "Becoming a Scout doesn’t make you honourable, it makes you a fool. Barely half of us make it home alive after every expedition, and those who do are never the same. I keep saying I have faith that Petra will get better, but the truth is I don't know if she will. Becoming a Scout means you're signing your life away, and only those dumb enough to realize that join our ranks."

Marie sighed heavily before speaking.

"Four years ago, I stood in that hallway over there and listened to Petra tell daddy that she was gonna join the Scouts. I stood silent, listening to daddy beg and plead with Petra not to join, but she did anyway. She said something that day that I've never forgotten." Marie pulls her hands away from Levi and fiddles with her skirt. "She said, _ 'telling me I can have freedom in the walls is like telling a bird he can fly wherever he pleases, as long as he is in his cage.' _ "

"Marie, what do you—"

"That was the day I decided to join the Scouts and be just like her. She'd always been my hero, and she always will be. I want to be strong like her. I didn't make my choice on a whim, I've thought about it for years. I will become a Scout."

Levi stood and scoffed.

"You're just like Petra, you know?" He tucked his hands in his pockets and peered down the hall. "Stubborn as a mule, but as clever as a fox."

Marie smiled softly.

"Does this mean you'll support me joining the Scouts?"

"I have said no such thing," He replied, tossing a wayward glance over his shoulder. "But if you're as much like Petra as I think you are, what I say will have no affect on your choice."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I have uploaded all the chapters I have at once? Probably not. Did I do it anyway? Yes. The only reason I have this many chapters is cause I've been home sick from school for like 2 days (it isn't the virus, it's just a cold) and have had at least 3 bursts of motivation. If we're being real, I'm gonna reread these chapters in like a week and have literally no idea what I was trying to say. Anyways, I hope y'all liked it! Love y'all!   
> ~ M


	14. Chapter 14

“Mama, I assure you that I am fine.” Petra said, adjusting the yellow ribbon delicately holding her hair. “It’s been three days since the incident in the bath, and I fear that if I stay in this house any longer, I’ll go mad.” 

“But, Pet, what if this is just too much?” Mrs. Ral argued from the doorway. “Marie can go help your father in the shop and you can stay here and help me.” 

“It won’t be too much, mama. Besides, the captain hasn’t been to the shop yet and I want to be the one to take him.” Petra looked away from the vanity and smiled. “Marie can come too, if she likes.” 

Mrs. Ral sighed heavily before asking, “Are you sure you’re well enough?” 

“Yes, I am well enough.” Petra stood and walked toward Mrs. Ral, stopping at the doorway. “And I even think that fresh air will do me good. Honestly, I think it’d do us all good.”

Mrs. Ral gave a soft smile before patting Petra’s shoulder gently, saying: “All right, Pet. But please take it easy, I don’t want you getting hurt. And keep an eye on Marie, don’t let her get into any trouble.” 

“I won’t let her get into any trouble, mama.” Petra says through a laugh. “You seem to forget that the captain will be there too, and he of all people could keep her in line.” 

“Alright. Just be careful, and stay safe.” 

_ * * * *  _

The convenience store at the end of the road run by the Ral family was small and quaint. It had everything anyone could possibly need, as well as an assortment of things they didn’t. 

Petra’s favourite place to work was the register because she could interact with all the costumers, whereas Marie preferred to stock shelves and organize the back room. 

Levi, however, took a liking to sweeping every inch of the store. 

Petra leaned on the counter, smiling faintly as she subtly watched Levi sweep with great precision, a habit she’d picked up from months of hiding their relationship. 

From where she stood, she could see the indent in Levi’s cheek from him absentmindedly gnawing at the skin. 

Petra loved the way Levi looked when he thought no one was watching; the way his brow seemed to furrow less, the way he clenched his jaw in thought, the way his eyes scrutinized every speck of dust. 

“There is supposed to be a product shipment coming in soon,” Mr. Ral called from the back room. “Can I leave y’all here to run the shop while I’m gone?” 

“Of course, daddy.” Marie said, putting a box on the shelf. 

“Good.” He said. 

After shouldering his jacket, he kissed Marie on the head, then Petra, then nodded curtly at Levi. 

Watching Mr. Ral exit the shop and making sure he was out of earshot, Marie turned to Levi and gave a sly grin, asking: “Why are you making that face?” 

“What face?” Levi asked.

“That face.” She pointed at him. “You look angry.” 

Levi rolled his eyes and huffed. “I always look like this.” 

“No, you don’t.” Marie countered. She shrugged before nonchalantly saying: “If you wanna kiss Petra too, you can. I ain’t gonna stop you.” 

Levi’s words caught in his throat and Petra watched from the counter in a combination of shock and amusement.

“I don’t want to kiss her.” Levi snapped. Petra did her best to hide the hurt that came from his words. 

“Yes, you do. Do you think I’m blind?” Marie scoffed, placing the last box on the shelf. Over her shoulder, she said in a mocking voice: “You love Petra, you love Petra, you love—” 

The bell atop the door jingled, and a man stepped in. 

He was tall and lanky with shaggy brown hair that hung over his eyes. There were deep lines around his mouth, evidence of years of frowning. 

The man came halfway into the store before speaking. 

“Are you Lieutenant Petra Ral and Captain Levi Ackerman?” The man asked harshly. 

Levi spoke before Petra, saying slowly: “Yes, we are. What is it to you?” 

“I bring an urgent message from Nile Dawk.” As the name leaves his mouth, both Levi and Petra’s attention is drawn to his uniform--the uniform of the Military Police. 

"The Scouting Regiment is being disbanded, and every soldier is being charged with treason." The man scowls, adjusting his jacket donned with the Military Police crest. "If you don't put up a fight, it'll be easier for you both."

"I'm sorry,  _ what? _ " Petra asked in shock, her palms flat on the counter to steady herself. 

The scowl on Levi's face seemed to deepen, but Marie just stood in silence with a box of spices hanging limply in her fingers. 

"The scouts are traitors to the king, and in turn are criminals. You will be treated as such." The man rolls his eyes and mutters again, "Like I said, if you play nice, then it'll go easier for the both of us." 

“You think we'll go willingly?" Levi reaches around his back, nimble fingers wrapping around the handle of a hidden blade. "If so, you must be out of your damn mind." 

The man laughs mockingly, the first sliver of emotion he had shown. "Now, I've heard a great deal about  _ you _ , Captain Levi. You really built yourself anew, didn't you? It'd be a shame if I sent you back where you came from, especially with your loathing of dirt." 

"You best bite your tongue before I cut it out of your mouth." Levi seethes, pulling his blade in the open. "If you've heard so much of me, then you'd know I'm a man of my word, so watch your step." 

"Is that any way to address a superior officer?" The man steps forward. "As of this moment, you, Levi Ackerman, are stripped of your rank and above-ground citizenship." 

Levi’s expression did not falter, not until a blood-curdling wail came from behind. 

“You can’t do that!” Marie shouts, pushing herself forward to stand beside Levi, the box of spices discarded on the floor. “The captain is more of a soldier than you’ll ever be—he’s braver and stronger and more of a man than you’ll ever be!” 

The man steps towards Marie and grabs her face and held firm despite her struggles. 

“What do you know about bravery? You’re just a little girl, and little girls should know their place. Your place is not beside this rat who crawled from the depths of hell.” He squeezes her face tighter. “You ought to keep quiet and know when to bite your tongue, and if you don’t then I’ll charge you with the same things as him.” 

“Let her go, please!” Petra grabs Marie’s waist and pulls her away from the man, clutching her to her chest. “Please. She’s just a baby, you said so yourself. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about, I swear it.” 

“Bad things happen when little girls don’t bite their tongue.” The man seethes, a scowl creeping across his face. 

“You bastard!” Marie yells. 

The man seems to growl in retaliation, his anger radiating through his uniform. 

Turning to Levi, his voice suddenly calm as he says: “You have three days to get your sorry ass out of here before you’re forcibly removed.” He pauses, a sickening smirk crossing his face before he adds: “And, who knows? If you don’t comply, we might skip that part entirely and just kill you on sight.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if I've ever said it, but I absolutely love the banter between Levi and Marie. I've said before that Marie is based of my own sister, but their relationship is actually based off her and my boyfriend's. I try and base their character interactions the way I would write them as I feel like their characters are very similar (well, if my bf was shorter, angrier, and more violent). Also I hate the mps and nile dok and Will make that known (well maybe not nile he isn't as bad in the manga, which i'm trying to read i'm at chapter like 57 or something and also reading a fic where he's a decent guy so he might be growing on me but idk). this note went in multiple different directions and i'm not sure how I got here. . . anyways, hope y'all liked this! Love y'all!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I just realized I got my chapters mixed up and thought I had two chapters when I actually only have one sorry y'all

“Captain, why didn’t you fight him?” Marie says, continuing her rambling that had lasted the last five minutes. “You saw how puny he was, you  _ easily _ could’ve taken him, and we wouldn’t be in this mess!” 

“Yes, we would.” Levi said, his deep baritone strikingly monotone. Petra knew this voice well—the voice he used when he was angry and afraid. She hated this voice more than the emotionless of his usual drawl. “Nile is behind this, and he loathes me, he has ever since I joined the Scouts, or longer. He’d do anything to send me back to that hell.” 

“And angering him won’t do any good, Marie. It’d just make everything worse.” Petra’s voice softened slightly before adding: “But I wouldn’t expect you to know that, you’re just a little girl.” 

“A little girl who is constantly getting into trouble.” Levi mumbles. 

Marie huffs. “I am  _ not  _ a little girl.” 

“Sure, sure. You’re only smack-dab in the age group that is considered ‘little girls.’” Levi crosses his arms, and for possibly the first time, scowls at the broom leaning on the counter. 

“That doesn’t mean a thing.” Marie pouts. “Besides, I’m more mature than all the other girls my age.” 

“Of course you are, Marie.” Petra walks past her slowly, patting her on the head. “Now, be the mature girl you are and pick up the spices you dropped.” 

“Spices?” Marie’s eyes fall to the floor and finally settle on the spice box she had dropped. “Oh. . .”

Levi scoffs, which gets Marie’s attention. “What are you laughing at?” 

“I’m not laughing.” Levi says. 

“Yes, you are.” She narrows her eyes. “Is there something amusing about me dropping a box of spices?” 

“No, no. . . it’s more of the fact that a mature girl would’ve noticed the fallen spices far quicker than that.” 

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Marie says, clutching the spices tightly. 

“Exactly what it sounded like.” Levi held her gaze for a long while before continuing. “You’re still a little girl, no matter how much you fight it. There are things in this world you just won’t understand until you get older.” 

“And how much older am I supposed to be?” She asked sarcastically. 

“It’s different for everyone, and you won’t know until you get there.” Levi breaks eye contact and grabs the broom. “One day, you’re gonna look back and realize how stupid you sound.” 

“I do  _ not _ sound stupid!” Marie huffs, crossing her arms tightly across her chest, pouting. 

They continue to banter, and Petra was thankful for the distraction. 

She stood behind the counter, dragging a rag along the surface without thought. Surely she was just moving the dust around and not actually cleaning, but it didn’t matter. 

_ Were the Scouts really being disbanded? After everything that she’d been through, it was over just like that?  _

Petra was weak and her stomach tossed, and she was unsure if she would vomit. 

She had been so focused on not breaking down or reaching for the waste bin that she hadn’t noticed Levi come beside her, the strong smell of soap and black tea overcoming her senses. 

His calloused hand found its way to the small of her back, and he ignored the discomfort he felt when he was greeted by cool metal and not warm skin. 

To rectify this, he slowly trailed his hand up Petra’s back until his fingertips grazed the first strip of exposed skin where her shirt ended. 

_ He’s gotten bolder _ , Petra thought.  _ Usually he’d never show this amount of affection when someone else was around. _

“What’s the matter?” Levi whispers. 

Through a shaky breath, Petra responds: “It’s nothing. I’m alright.” 

“You look like you’re about to cry,” He says, moving his hand farther up until his palm pressed squarely between her shoulder blades. “What’s wrong? Was it that damn MP? If it was, I’ll kill him.” 

“No, Levi, it’s—” 

“Marie,” Levi turned, his hand lingering. “Please go to the back room, I need to speak to Petra.” 

“What? Why?” Marie asked, putting the last box on the shelf. “What’s wrong, Petra?” 

“Let me rephrase that,” Levi said, the mask of an emotionless captain slipping over his features. “I need to speak to Petra _ alone. _ ” 

Marie groaned and rolled her eyes, but complied. Dragging her feet to prove some point, she went to the back room and shut the door.

They were alone again. 

“She doesn’t understand what’s happening,” Petra said, her voice trembling. “She was so fast to jump to our defense even though she didn’t know who or why she was fighting.”

“Sounds a lot like someone else I know.” He muttered. Levi finally dropped his hand, and replaced it by pressing his forehead to her shoulder. 

Petra laughed softly, and Levi couldn’t help but smile at the sound. 

“What’ll we do now?” Petra asked. 

“No idea. I’ll send a message out to Erwin tonight and pray he gets it. He’ll know what to do.” Levi said, his voice scarily calm. 

“Levi?” 

“Hm?” He hummed. 

“Why aren’t you afraid?” She angled her neck back to see his expression shift, but it didn’t. He just stood there, eyes closed, with his forehead pressed to her shoulder as his fingers absentmindedly fiddled with the fabric of her skirts.

“I knew it was just a matter of time before I was sent back to that hellhole.” Finally, he moved slightly. He lifted his head, pressed a kiss to her skin, and laid it back down. “Shitty thing about it though is this time I have something to lose.” 

“Oh?” 

“Mh-hm. I actually have friends now—shocking, I know.” As he spoke, he thought of all the friends he’d leave behind. 

_ Erwin, Hanji, Moblit, Miche, Lynne, Nifa, Nanaba.  _

“And I’d have to leave Marie, and . . .” His voice suddenly dipped. “. . . you.”

Turning abruptly, Levi pulled back in shock. Tears glistened in Petra’s eyes as she reached up and grasped his face firmly, her fingers hooking behind his ears and under his jaw. 

“No.” She declared. “No. I won’t let you leave. You won’t leave, you won’t leave anyone. Not Erwin or Hanji, not Marie, not . . .” She suddenly pulled her hands away and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Not me.” 

“Petra, what—” 

“You aren’t allowed to leave.” She said. Her mask finally slipped, and hot tears dripped down her face and soaked Levi’s shirt. “You aren’t allowed to leave.” 

Hesitantly, Levi wrapped his arms around Petra’s shaking frame. 

Through a sigh, he whispered: “I won’t leave.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told y'all I had a plan on where this was going! also, sorry for the updates being so irregular, school and life is just chaotic. I've had a problem with motivation since the first quarantine but now it's getting bad again and I just found out I'm going virtual until the 30th so i'm in quarantine again. wonderful. well, hopefully this goes better than it did last time we went virtual and maybe i'll be able to write more in this. thank you for bearing with me, love y'all!


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Petra reached to her collar and fiddled with the ribbon that hung around her neck for the fourth time. 

"Petra, calm down. Everything will be fine, alright?" Levi whispered, touching her wrist lightly and guiding it back down to her lap. 

“You’re probably right, but still. I don’t understand how you aren’t terrified.” She said. 

_ You’re never scared,  _ Petra thought. _ Not of anything. Not of titans, not of superiors, not of the unknown. Nothing.  _

"It isn't that bad, Petra." 

"Yes, it is!" She yelled in a hushed voice. Sighing heavily, she added: "You heard what that MP said. If you aren't out of here in three days, they'll kill you."

Levi scoffed. “Like hell they will.” 

_ That arrogance is what’s going to get you killed,  _ she thought angrily. 

"Look, everything is gonna get worked out. Erwin and Hanji ought to be here soon, they'll know what to do."

"And if they don't?" 

"When have you ever known either of them to not have a plan?" He asked. "Besides, if they don't have a plan, then we'll make one. We're Scouts, remember? We've faced way worse things than a couple of MPs who don't know their place."

"I know, I know, but still . . ." She trailed off. "The MPs have a hell of a lot more power than we do, who knows what they can do?"

"They still have to abide by the law." Levi says. 

"Says you." She muttered sarcastically. 

"Hey, I said  _ they _ had to follow the law, not  _ me. _ " He shrugs. "At least if I do it, I'll know how to get away with it." 

"Very funny, Levi." Petra frowned. 

"I'm just being honest." A sly grin crossed his face. "I bet I could kill ten of them and make it look like an accident." 

"Levi!" 

"Okay, okay, I won't do it." He tosses his hands up in mock surrender. "But my point still stands: they have to abide by the same laws we do. Erwin and that bastard Nile report to the same guy—Darius Zackly." 

"When has he ever helped us?" 

Before Levi could respond, there was a knock at the door. 

“Levi? Petra? Y’all in there?” Hanji’s voice radiated through the wood. She knocked again, and again.

Levi opened the door just as Hanji went to knock again, but by now he was used to her antics and successfully dodged. He gave a questioning look before stepping aside and allowing Hanji and Erwin to enter. 

Erwin was the first to speak. 

“How are you feeling, Petra?” He asked, his deep baritone shockingly gentle. 

“I’m alright, sir. Thank you.” She nodded, her hand pressed against her heart in a salute. Had she been able, she would’ve jumped to her feet and properly saluted her commander. 

“That’s good to hear.” Erwin said, smiling. He turned to Levi before speaking again. “And how are you?” 

“I’m fine.” Levi’s words were curt. 

“There’s no need to be rude,” Hanji muttered sarcastically. 

“Says the person who almost decked me in the face thirty seconds ago.” Levi countered. She scoffed and crossed her arms, a soft  _ hmph  _ escaping her lips.

Erwin ignored them and continued speaking: “We got your message, and we’re just as shocked as you.” 

“Do you know why they would do this?” Petra asked. 

“I’m not sure, but I got word of a merchant who was murdered and it likely has something to do with that. Word on the street is he had ties to the Scouts, and that we are responsible for his death.” 

“So all this shit is because someone was murdered?” Levi’s words were almost sarcastic, as if this is something that happens everyday. 

“It all boils down to it, yes.” Erwin crosses his arms and sighs. “How we respond is the question.” 

“The best thing we can do is keep as many Scouts safe as we can. I will take a group, perhaps the ones from the 104th cadet corps.” Hanji says. “It won’t be long before they come after you, Erwin. Your best bet is to just go along with them until we get this sorted.” 

“And what should I do?” Levi asks. 

“Whatever they said. Now is not the time for you to cause a scene.” She said. “In your letter, you mentioned an MP has already spoke to you. What did he say?” 

“He said that the Scouts were traitors to the kill and a danger to society. He then revoked my rank and above-ground citizenship.” 

“So you’re being sent to the underground?” Hanji’s words seemed shocked. She turned to Erwin. “Can they do that?” 

“Unfortunately, yes.” Erwin mumbled. “After they froze all Scout activity, they technically had superiority which gave them all the power they needed to take our best soldier.” 

“Damn them . . .” Hanji muttered. “Damn them all!” 

“Squad Leader, please calm down.” Petra whispered, gesturing down the hall where she was sure Marie was hiding. “My sister is hiding there.”

“Your sister?” Hanji asked. “Well, why doesn’t she come in here?” 

“You can call her if you like.” Petra said, adding softly: “Her name is Marie.” 

“Ah, okay.” Hanji turned and peered down the hall. “Marie? You there?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” Marie replied. 

“Are you just gonna hide in the shadows or are you gonna come say hello?” Hanji asked. 

Silently, Marie trudged into the living room with her face downcast. She looked at Petra then Levi, then to Squad Leader Hanji, and finally Erwin. Her eyes widened. 

She stumbled around the sofa where Levi and Petra sat and knelt beside Petra’s legs on the edge of the fraying rug. 

_ It’s odd to see her so quiet and reserved,  _ Levi thought.  _ This is nothing like the loud, rambunctious girl who begged him for fighting lessons two days ago. _

“Are you going to say hello, Marie?” Petra asked softly. 

Taking a deep breath, she mumbled: “Hello.” 

“How much did you hear?” Erwin asked, placing his elbows on his knees to be closer to Marie’s height. She flinched away. 

“Most of it.” She responded.

“Allow me to rephrase,” Erwin said. “How much did you understand?” 

“Not a lot.” She admitted. “All I know is that the captain is going to be leaving, and so will Petra.” 

“Petra leaves?” Hanji asked. “Where’s Petra going?” 

“With the captain. Wherever he goes, she goes. She’s loyal until the very end. Daddy said she was going to devote herself entirely.” 

Hanji glanced at Petra. “It would be wise for him to not go alone . . .” She trailed off. “But are you well enough for that?” 

“Of course I’m well enough.” Petra said. 

“Whether you’re well enough or not, it doesn’t matter.” Levi said. “You aren’t going.” 

“Levi, there is no way you can go alone—” 

“No. I’m going, you aren’t, end of story.” He crossed his arms. “That is an order.” 

Hanji and Erwin glanced at each other nervously. 

“Levi, are you sure that’s wise? I mean, you can’t just go alone, what if something happens?” Hanji asked. 

“Then I’ll handle it like I did for twenty years. I grew up there, I know that place like the back of my hand. People fear me. If there’s a problem, I’ll handle it.” 

“I think that—” Erwin started. 

“I don’t give a damn what you think, Erwin.” Levi snapped. “I can handle it alone.” 

“Levi, would you please not be so rash?” Petra said. 

“I’m not being rash!” He shouted. “I said I can handle it alone. You’re injured, and you will stay here with Marie and your folks until you heal. I will go to the Underground alone.” 

He stood abruptly, startling Marie so much that she toppled over. 

“If you wouldn’t mind, I would like to prepare for my mission. I will speak to you all later.” 

“Levi, wait!” Petra yelled but he ignored her and continued down the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes it's been a while, hasn't it? well, life is life and is unpredictable. right now i'm in the midst of family problems and using fanfic as an escape so i'm gonna do my best and get a few more chapters out. i have one more written so i'll upload that and i'm halfway done with the next but idk how long that'll take. a big thank you to everyone who has read and commented, y'all have no idea how happy it makes me to see even one comment. thanks for sticking with this story. love y'all! :)


	17. Chapter Seventeen

“Levi, open this door.” Petra banged on the door again. “Levi, open this damn door before I break it!”

No response. She knocked again, and again, and again. Still, no response. 

“Don’t think I’m fooling around, Levi, I  _ will  _ break this door. I can do it, just watch me!” 

Finally, the knob turned and the door opened. 

Levi stood in the doorway, looking more pissed than usual.

“What do you want?” He asked. 

“You know what I want,” She said. 

“Yes, I do, and no, it’s not happening.” He went to shut the door but Petra put her arm out to stop. “Be careful moving so quickly like that, you’ll get hurt.”

“I’ll be fine.” She said. “Just like I’ll be fine going with you.” 

He gave a humourless laugh before mumbling, "You don't understand, Petra." 

"Yes, I do. It's  _ you  _ who doesn't." She insisted. "What I understand—and what is true—is that we're the only surviving members of our squad. That means that we have fought fate and won. We can't be separated now, not after everything we've been through."

"This is a different world, Petra.You've always lived above ground and had the ability to bask in the sunlight—there is no sunlight here. This place takes the strongest people and breaks them. Every day you have to fight to survive, but instead of fighting the titans, you're fighting other humans and humans are a hundred times more lethal than a titan is." 

"That doesn't matter." She took a step towards him and grabbed his arm. "We have fought titans, and we can fight people too. You know why?" 

When Levi didn't respond, Petra took his hand and pressed it against her chest, right below the swell of her breast. 

"Do you feel that?" She asked, but he didn't respond. "That's my heartbeat, Levi. That means I'm still alive, and if we're still alive then we can fight. If we stop fighting, all that's left for us is to lay down and die." 

Levi stood for a moment, stunned, with his hand pressed to Petra’s heart. 

_ She’s here, _ He thought. _ She’s here, she’s here, she’s here.  _

His demeanor suddenly changed. No longer was he dripping with anger, but instead he looked as if he was about to cry.

“I can’t lose you.” He said. “I can’t, not you too. It’s a dangerous place full of bad people. I know I said I can handle it, but . . . but I don’t know if you can.” 

“Levi . . .” She whispered, reaching up and cupping his face gently. “Do you not remember what we’ve been through? How strong we both are? Yes, we’re strong on our own, but together? We’re a whole new level of strength that cannot be measured.” 

“I know.” He said, giving a half-hearted laugh. “It’s strange, really. We . . . you’ve been through so much, and yet you haven’t changed a bit. You’re still that loud, beautiful girl I met during training.” 

She smiled. “Thank you.” 

“But that doesn’t mean I want you to come.” He added.

Petra took a step closer and wrapped her arms firmly around Levi’s neck and placed a soft kiss on his shoulder. 

“I know.” She whispered. “But I need you, and you need me. We can do this together.” 

Levi did not agree aloud, no, but the way he wrapped his arms firmly around Petra’s waist and sighed softly was all the assurance she needed.

_*** * * *** _

Marie had not moved from the edge of the frayed rug since she sat down. Not when Levi lashed out, not when Hanji ruffled her hair in goodbye, not when Erwin smiled softly at her. 

Marie had just met one of her heroes, and yet she couldn’t even muster the strength to say hello.

As she sat there, lost in her own head, she heard soft footsteps echo down the hall. She didn’t look to see who it was. 

“Why are you still sitting there?” Levi asked softly. She shrugged. Noticing something was wrong, he knelt beside her. 

“Is something the matter?” He asked. She shrugged again. At this point, Levi noticed the tears streaming down her rosy cheeks. “Hey, don’t cry.” 

“But . . .” She sniffled. “But you’re leaving and might not come back.” 

“Ah, that’s what you’re upset about.” He nodded in understanding. “Don’t worry, kid. I’ll come back, I promise.” 

“But it’s dangerous, you said so yourself.” 

“I know, I know.” He said. “But I’m a soldier, and so is Petra. We’re real strong, we can do it. I promise we’ll come back.” 

He taps her shoulder and holds his arms wide. 

Marie presses her puffy cheeks to his shoulder and weeps. She clutches his jacket and wonders that if maybe she holds tight enough, he won’t leave. 

“You promise you’ll come back?” She asked. “You swear it?” 

“I swear it.” He runs his hand up and down her back in a soothingly. “I’ll come back.” 

“Will you keep Petra safe?” She whispers. “I know she’s strong, she’s a soldier! But she was hurt so bad . . . you gotta keep her safe, captain. Please, you gotta keep her safe—”

“Look at me,” Levi says, cupping Marie’s red face and thumbing away her tears. “I will protect Petra until the day I die, and I don’t intend to die anytime soon. I will protect her, and I will come back for you.” 

“Do you . . . do you promise?” She whimpers. 

“I promise.” He drops his hands and gives a half smile. “Now stop crying. A young lady like you shouldn’t be crying over a man like me.” 

“Okay,” Marie says, wiping at her cheeks with the heel of her hand and sniffles. “I won’t cry, captain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as promised, a second chapter in one day. now to go radio silent for the next six months.


End file.
